Sunday, September 28, 2008

Hippity Hooray for Holidays...

I've had a very short temper with the poor kids (PMT), but am so thrilled that we don't have to do the 7:40am rush to the bus or the iron iron iron of the uniforms etc for 2 whole weeks. We are going have some lovely family time hanging out...gardening, eating, cooking. The kids put on a weird sort of play for us yesterday...not sure what it was about...but all good fun. 

Hip Hip Hooray...

The photo below is of my lovely Mummy at the house I  remember growing up in! Before this we lived in a unit that I can't remember as a baby. I know Mum was terrified I would climb over the balcony & fall to the ground so we moved...now I understand her fear! When I was in about Yr 8 we moved to another house, but this is the one I remember...I have the matching photo - one with me as a toddler running around her -  in a collage above my desk. (A collage that I made at the Quest for Life conference, full of things that inspire me, "fluff me up", things I want to achieve, things that are important, things that I love)...I'd love to give Mum just one more hug. Life is so very precious. To lose those we love so very hard...Mum would have just turned 78 if she were still alive. Oh Mum, you'd love your grandkids, they so remind me of you & Dad sometimes. Eric seems to have quirks of Dad's & Bonnie is a shy little artist - just like you thought I was Mum!! 

Anyway, I'm hoping to make some memories these holidays that my kids might Blog about one day?


Monday, September 22, 2008

THE LETER OF THE DAY...

Part One:
The Letter P

Sesame Street has A LOT to answer for. 

Today Eric came out into the kitchen & told me that the letter of the day was P. 
I smiled & said "That's lovely darling!"
Then he told me that the word POO starts with the letter P.
"Yes sweetie, that is correct." Rolling my eyes!!
I have birthed an evil genius. If only I can channel his talents to good...

I also suggested that was perhaps something not to share at Prep next year...

This morning Bonnie was asking me how babies were made...oi vey...she's only 7. 

Some days are just like this...unfortunately they don't tell you about this in the "baby books"!

Part Two:
Brotherly love

Yesterday the kids were playing outside & I had come in to check on sick husband flat out in bed with horrific back pain. Miss B came running in "Mum, something just bit me on the hand." 
I'm thinking - ant, bee, redback spider... 
WHAT? WHAT BIT YOU, SHOW ME QUICKLY...

I get outside & there is a poor little skink lizard laying dazed/concussed on the ground having been pounded by Eric the Brave, trying to protect his sister from the biting monster...
I said "Bonnie, lizards don't just BITE people, what were you doing?"
"Er, nuuuttthhhinnggg..." 
Yeah right...
Poor little creature, set upon by my children...

I had to laugh though...at my fear, & at Eric sticking up for his sister...

Sigh. Before I had kids I thought I would be an excellent mum. Now that I'm a mum I realise how little I know




video

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Sometimes I wish...

Sometimes I wish I had the wisdom of my parents to still draw on...

Today is one of those days I really miss them. 

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Post Reunion

 Well, I feel like I am still recovering after the reunion. I didn't get home until the wee hours of the morning - that in itself is very very rare for me unless someone here is sick - & I have to say it was wonderful to see all those faces 20 years down the track...yet it is surreal to summarise "life" in a few short minutes. A friend was worried about me & asked how I would go talking about David & his illness so many times, but I actually just chose not to go through it with some people...what was more distressing was discussing CHILDREN. An old friend works in a NICU for newborn babies & spoke about how to watch families lose their babies has been so hard for her over the years & how she struggles in this line of work...And it was one of those events where people mingle & wander in & out of others conversations...I started to try to mention some of what I had been through with children, & after a few attempts I decided that it was just too hard to start being too detailed about anything. I was brief! Someone from our year died of cancer, others had not married or had children & I am guessing that many have probably lost children - statistically. In spite of this - & the fact that I have lost my confidence in big social gatherings despite having spoken to many many people over the years & run big music events - I did have a wonderful time, but found some discussions very very hard. There is something amazing about seeing everyone so "grown up" & more sure of themselves - moving into our 40s. Wow!! It was hillarious seeing the old photos of everyone in their 80s gear. Glad I scanned lots of pics as my contribution. 

I feel a loss for the friendships that have disappeared over the years. I was so sad that two old friends in particular were either hard to find or didn't respond to any emails/correspondence...perhaps I'm a little hurt about the loss of that season of friendship? Sigh...yet friendship is a two way street I know. I have been just as hopeless with keeping in touch with people over the years.  Anyway, all those who were there enjoyed themselves I think!! 

David is very stressed at the moment. We ponder our future. It's hard when there are bills to pay etc. It's hard to make big decisions without hindsight. I spin between positivity to anxiety...perhaps I need to go & take up a job somewhere to ease the financial stress?? Perhaps more money isn't the solution but a seachange somewhere? I just feel like I have put down my roots here & all this change & heartache is so very hard...I can only do a day at a time though....

Friday, September 12, 2008

Friday STYLE...


No, not apartment therapy, but mum & dad's first house. Dad made that little kidney shaped coffee table. How cool were they. Very 50's!!!! I'll have to go & find this house - it's about 30 mins from where I live now I think...

Tomorrow is the 20 year reunion. I'm off to a fete in the morning with the kiddies. They can take some pocket money & find some goodies. I've just spend over an hour at the shops & I've only found HALF an outfit to wear tomorrow night. A lovely sparkley silver & black hippy top...but sadly I couldn't find any black shoes OR black pants to fit. Everyone always wants to lose weight but OH it's not easy sometimes being underweight & trying to find things to make you look lovely...I found a padded bra that makes me look like I have a bust again - YIPPEE. Sadly after the last session of breast feeding they shrivelled up into nothing. I'm hardly even an "A" cup now...honestly...oh for some WEIGHT on me...

I met up with the exercise physiologist too. I haven't finished the program yet so we couldn't do the testing, but it was good to chat to her. I might be able to get membership a little cheaper than normal because of the GP program. Anyway, I'll try to do 2 sessions next week...

The lovely SUN is out today & tomorrow is meant to be even HOTTER. Oh how I love the Spring...

Hip Hip Hooray for FRIDAY!!

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

This is my "brave big boy" at Preschool photo day...

I'm so glad he's in my life. Behind that gentle smile is a cheeky monkey waiting to BURST forth!!!!!! He brings us all so much joy. I sent this pic to my family today so of course I had to post it here for my Blog friends...

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Kicking back with more memories on a wet gloomy Saturday...



I don't know where or when this was. It's my mum & nan & the old family dog...it just looks like a happy picture. Something to make me smile on an otherwise cold wet day...& no, I don't know what's with the blue underlined writing...some technical glitch...

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Another memory...

Little me with the crooked part & the blue eyes just like mum's & the little smile. I think I was in Year 3, 3G in fact at Mortdale Public School. Lots of freckles, lots of innocence & that wonderful way that children have to just enjoy each day - not too worried about tomorrow. I can't remember much about being in 3G. D remembers thousands of facts about his childhood - all his classmates names, his teachers & other more trivial bits of information. Unfortunately my brain just removes things that won't be of use...I think there's only so much room in there & so much has been discarded. They say we only use about 10% of our brain...well unfortunately I think I use even less sometimes!!

Anyway, back to 3G. We had a lovely male teacher that year. Mr Gow. He showed us how to make popcorn - which I'd never seen before!! He taught us how to use paints to make a beautiful washed watercolour sky. I chipped one of my front teeth on a chair one day in his class. The cap has recently fallen off when one of my children accidentally headbutted me in the mouth. I remember feeling so happy about being able to wear sandals in the summer, but used to hate people treading on my feet. I know my mum did this tie for me & I have never learnt to tie them for myself! (D will have to teach my son!) I remember being in an upstairs room & having to climb the stairs every day...there now, I do remember a few things about being in Year 3. It's amazing to think that my daughter is nearly this age, nearly in that grade...it still shocks me some days to realise I have a daughter! She is not me yet she has my genes in her, she has the Barry eyes, dimples & a quiet thoughtfulness & gentleness to her that is so reflective of me at that age. She has a love of all things artistic...I wonder what her thoughts will be about life in the 00's. I remember a little of life in the 70's. (I think this photo was taken 1979!) So many things seem so lovely looking back. Part of me loves to be an adult, but part of me longs to be this child again...


I had to include her two school pictures. This is Bonnie Maree in her 1R photo & her KT photo, summer & then winter uniform. The next generation. This is my wonderful daughter, so fragile, so full of wonder, so curious & yet cautious at times, intelligent, loving, quiet, loud, faithful, everlearning, always hungry. I am so grateful for the chance to be her mum...YOU GO GIRL! Grow up into the strong woman I know you can be!!! Be stronger, go further than me, be yourself, dare...you are amazing darling & you are very VERY loved!!!

Monday, September 1, 2008

Mum + one gawky teenager

Oh those painful teenage years. I'm reading a wonderful book at the moment about raising daughters. So much of it makes sense & I wish I'd known some of those things at the time. This is a rare photo of mum & I relaxing outside. Can't remember any background to this photo - I can't remember the day, or what we were doing, or what year it was taken...but it's lovely to look back on photos like these. 

I'm off to get a Monday morning cuppa as my body reacts to the strong osteo drugs I take on Sunday. 

AND...

HAPPY FIRST DAY OF SPRING. The sun is actually out & it's the start of the week. It was so cold over the weekend, we all snuggled up in bed - all four of us. Bring on the sun!!!!!!!!!!