Wednesday, October 29, 2008


My goodness, I haven't even caught up with the last time I was tagged Kerrie...

OK. Things that make me happy? If you'd asked me a few days ago I would have burst into tears, but today I think I can jot down a few things...

* snuggles in the big queen bed with D, Bon & Ric
* snuggles in the big queen bed without Bon & Ric
* food on the table & peace in the house
* this computer & time to ramble on with my jumbled thoughts for all & sundry to find & read if they so desire!
* laughter
* health & freedom
* sketching
*good books
* good food
* good wine
* deep friendships
* prayer & meditation
* music
* the smell of fresh baking bread
* writing out important birthdays & dates in next years calendar 
* a tidy house...ahhhh, very rare but lovely
* freshly mown grass
* the children giggling
* the time before bed when I read books to the kids & ask them their thoughts on different things
* playing an old piece I've studied on the piano when no one is around....another very rare but lovely thing
* healing a rift in a friendship
* learning new things
* books with images of interesting rooms & styles
* Blogging
* my local Library
* my collage above my desk in our bedroom, with all my hopes & dreams in picture form there to remind me to keep striving & moving forward towards those things
* consolidating my jumbled thoughts in a journal from time to time - yes, with pen & quaint & OLD. Hee hee
* talking to God makes me very happy

Friday, October 24, 2008

Some things......

Something to make me smile on a Friday!! How cool is this dinning room. I reckon it would make a great cheery...

Something NOT making me smile is a sore throat accompanied by snot. 

Something making me smile is Bonnie going on an excursion to Vaucluse House to learn about "how we used to live". 

Something else making me smile is that Eric is off to Preschool today, allowing me to get to a haircut.

Something NOT making me smile is "The Kite Runner" which I watched while D was out at an important meeting last night. I sat there in tears, frustrated at the sin & injustice in the world...I went to bed desperately trying to forget some of the sad images & erase them from my mind...

Something making me smile is getting Eric's Prep Letter from school inviting us to orientation day. We are very excited about that. 

Something NOT making me smile is Facebook & the amount of time it tries to suck out of me...

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Tuesday Schmoozeday!!

Just thought this picture was so kooky!

Or perhaps it's just the side effects of the osteo drugs kicking in?

I am going to try to get to the gym today...there's a lot going on in my mind, in my heart, with my family, & I think I NEED to go & get some exercise...even though I don't FEEL like going. I'll have to call up to see if there's any spare places in creche of course. What a luxury it must be for people that have parents or family just around the corner etc. Babysitting on demand? I always look at mothers & daughters & granddaughters out shopping together & long to say "HEY, do you realise how precious it is to have each other - appreciate it while you can because mothers do die & you will miss this so much!" But of course people would probably think I was a total nutter so I don't! But sometimes I feel a little jealous...

Tonight I plan to go out (dim chord on the organ - da daaaah) - if I can drag myself there - to a coffee & dessert night up at my church with some inspiring speakers & some good food. I hope that I can encourage some other people & in turn be encouraged? It all depends on how organised I am this afternoon I know. David isn't really in a position to help much at the it's pretty full on. Anyway, I think my soul needs some feeding, so it will be good to get to that...

Here's a lovely quote from a little book that arrived yesterday. (Bless you Kerrie, I needed that!)

"Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy;
They are the charming gardeners who makes our souls blossom."
 ~ Marcel Proust

Friday, October 17, 2008

Slow down you move too fast...

You've got to make the morning last,  just...kickin' down the cobble stones, lookin' for fun & feelin' groovy...yeah baby...

Much has been happening since that last FORLORN post. Lots happening for David - in fact so much it's making my head spin...I'm trying to process it all at the moment...

Eric at Preschool today & Bonnie is home with a fever having a TV much for my plans for today, but that's what being a mum is all about right? 

Bonnie had her first "real" piano lesson yesterday at Oatley - the suburb I grew up in. David & I could teach her of course, but it was never regular when we'd sit together & fiddle & I decided to bite the bullet & ask a piano teacher that I trust to teach her. (It's a dear old friend's Mum who I used to go & observe teaching when I was doing music teacher training!)

I have to change the kids linen...uggg. I just want to fall back into bed. I sat up talking to David past midnight & then couldn't sleep until about 2am last anything I'm typing making sense....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I think I'll go listen to some 60's music...

Friday, October 10, 2008

Feelin' kinda flat today

It started so well...then D sent an SMS from the Drs. He's lost MORE weight & has bone thinning...I feel like a failure as a cook. How do I fatten him up some more...I feel so weary with cooking & cleaning...& it's making not a scrap of difference that I'm trying so hard...big flat disheartened sigh here....

Monday, October 6, 2008

Listening to...

What is it about Joni Mitchell music that can make you feel so wistful?

Sunday, October 5, 2008


"No matter how crazy things get or how stressed you feel, you know in your heart how fortunate you are to be given the precious, priceless treasure of children. I encourage you then to see this job of parenting as noble, as a privilege with which you've been entrusted and to take from that responsibility a feeling of meaning and significance."
p.14 Dr Phil McGraw Family First

"Living with unresolved grief is like keep a pot of boiling water bubbling  on a stove. You can try to keep the lid on but eventually the pot will boil over. In this state, your emotions are likely to remain turbulent, your relationships off balance, your behaviour anxious, erratic & tending toward anger, your mind distracted, & your health prone to stress-related conditions, such as high blood pressure.
Lasting healing can only occur when you can look plainly at the causes of your pain, deal with it as a reality, experience it fully & let it go. Often, this means shedding tears. It is a process that takes time to complete. It can't be rushed. It is as individual as you are. There is no formula for how many weeks, months, or years it will take, nor how many tears will be shed or hours of thought consumed along the way. And you may despair as you re-experience feelings of loss many times over before you feel ready to move on with life. 
Three good practical ways I have used to commence the process of releasing grief are talking, thinking & writing...remember to be gentle on yourself...set your own pace..."
p.  Brian Babington, Bouncing Back

These are some books I am reading at the moment. (Our local Library has the most amazing collection of books!)

Friday, October 3, 2008

Banana & Caramel Custard Cake!

I decided to make this cake this afternoon...why in 35 degree heat I thought using the oven would be good I'm not sure...I think the smell of the bananas getting too ripe tempted me...& this picture that I've kept in my kitchen, walking past it every day? Thanks to Kerrie for the heads-up on this recipe. It was pretty yummy for afternoon tea...