Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Tonight I was interviewed by Megan Dredge. We spoke about teaching & some of our experiences & hopefully there are some words & thoughts that might encourage others...how amazing to look back on my own adventures in education. I have achieved more than I realised...wow! How important it is to reflect & consider the journey...
Who'd have thought a comment from my piano teacher could spark a career!?
"Have you thought about studying Music?"
"Music? At Uni? Do you think I'd be good enough?"
[Snort] "Of course you'd be good enough!"
"You really think I could be a Music teacher?"
"I wouldn't suggest it if I didn't think you were capable!" [rolling her eyes & shaking her head]
Ah, those innocent days. All of those lectures. Going off to pracs. Teaching in rough state schools full of housing commission kids. Teaching in expensive private schools with loads of resources. Assignments. Bigger Assignments. Recital. Certificate...now I have a B.Mus.Ed? Someone pinch me, is this real? I survived that first year. I did things I didn't think I could do. I made programs. I put ensembles together. I taught Infants AND High School. I went on camps. I marked rolls. I prepared for parent teacher interviews. I shared myself, my weird sense of humour, & my life with all of those kids...
Sometimes I miss that pat on the back from Mum & Dad who used to say "We are so proud of you!" I think we need to do that for ourselves? I do, especially since Mum & Dad aren't around any more. To sit down with yourself & say "You are not totally hopeless! You have really high expectations & you get disappointed when you don't manage to achieve every single goal you make, but look at the 90% that went well!" Yet I so miss them & their advice & wisdom. I wish they could see me now...that man who used to put his spare change into little money boxes & take to the bank - for me - so that when I finished school I would have some savings to help me study. That care. That vision. Sacrifices made on my behalf, before I even knew how to ask for them. A woman who loved me & showed me glimpses into her world of patient care for others - the aged, the mentally unwell, the sick. Tthe nurse. A Mum who would travel into the city to answer phones & counsel those who needed ears to listen to them. How I miss the wealth of my parents wisdom & how I miss their laughter. I wish I could say "Look, I have been a good teacher, & now I have returned to this job. It's all thanks to your love for me that I was able to do any of this..."
Teaching is certainly a continuing adventure & it's not over yet (despite the fact that I have been looking into other options this year). There is more to do. I'm older & wiser. I don't want to give up hope! But it has been oh so hard this year...but life without hope is horrible.
Hope is such an important thing. As D & I used to turn & say to each other when he sat waiting for another round of chemo "there is hope". As I walk into a classroom setting up, psyching myself up, considering what is about to enter the room I tell myself "there is hope". As I watch my children - the children I thought might not survive in my dangerous womb I think "there is hope". I wait for test results to see how my body is currently behaving inside & think "there is hope". I wait to hear from my sister, caring for four grandchildren, who is exploring some life changes & think "there is hope". I read a blog about an amazing lady touching lives all around the world, yet she isn't able to leave her house due to an illness & pray "there is hope".