Gently going through my maths homework with me as a young girl, often ending in tears. I never really understood maths very well. You'd be so proud of B & E - they love maths & do extra maths before school every morning!! Go figure!!??
I have great memories of you laughter, your great sense of humour as you watched shows on ABC - you loved British humour, rather than American...
You were such a gentleman. Even though your own Dad was an alcoholic & left you & your family when you were young, you didn't ever talk much about those hard times. You encouraged me not to make excuses for myself because my life was hard, but to use that strength to make wise choices & not wallow in self pity...
You encouraged us to be kind, to be fair, to "dare to be a Daniel", to stand up for what is right - even when that is hard...
You washed up after us all every night, without complaint. "You need to study Elissa" - so I did...
I relished your favour, I hated to hear your raised voice because I had done something silly...
You cared for Mum, you were worthy of respect & never had to ask for it...
You listened to me, all of my hopes & dreams at the dinner table. My journey at church, hearing about Jesus & sharing what I learnt with you & Mum...
You were my soft place to fall. You always had great advice to help me...
Driving me to piano lessons, taking me to youth events, helping me at tennis, proof-reading through essays for me...
Your lolly jar on the coffee table. Your little treat at night time, your cup of tea & a few lollies - your special "Dad treat"...
When you died I didn't realise all the ways you helped our community!! You listened to girls at my high school read - girls that were really struggling with English & just needed someone who was patient to listen to them, you volunteers at a community center to help get secretarial work in order, helping at the church art shows, helping become a bowls umpire...so many amazing things you did in your lifetime...
Listening to stories of your days working for the police with people like "Bumper" Farrell.
Listening to whispers from Mum that you were given a feather to signify cowardice time & time again because you didn't join up to fight in war time, when physically you were told you couldn't & your colleges told you that you were weren't to go...how heartbreaking that must have been for you...you were such a brave brave man...
Then you were gone so suddenly...I didn't get a final hug, a final word, a warning. Just a phone call saying I 'should pack a bag & race up to be there'...then another call to say 'No rush, he's gone.' Gone...what a hole you left when you died Dad. I do miss you - still! Nearly 20 years since you've gone. I wish I could show you a bit of my life now. I wish my kids could have known you...
D is such a great Dad to our children. There really is a new depth to a relationship when you see the one you love snuggling with little ones...so grateful for him. He's in the studio playing some jazz while the kids sit near him. I know you had your doubts about him. I guess like any father you wanted to know my husband would care for me. He is not you, but he is himself, & I do love him. I hope we leave a good legacy for our children & grandchildren...but I don't think I can be as good a parent as you were to me Dad.
Graduation Day 1993?
The first member of the Barry clan to go to Uni ;-)
I have learnt so much about life & death since 1995 when you died. So many friends still have their parents in their lives. I have had to go on without you & mum. I have grown more dependant on God I guess. I rest in my Heavenly Fathers arms today. He has been my faithful Father through so much joy & so much pain over these years...your sister had a wonderful dream about you, that you were in one of your suits, like the ones you wore to work, but it was all white & you were telling her you were OK...I don't know for sure where you are Dad, but I am so honoured to have known you, to have loved you & I am so grateful to be your daughter.
So glad I had you as a Dad.
Kevin Barry 1932-1995
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