Happy Birthday Bonnie

My little one turned 8 last Friday. 

It is very surreal that the little baby who rested in her Dad's arms as the sun came up after her birth is now 8 years old. When people used to say "time flies" I'd roll my eyes, but it really feels like it does... especially when birthdays come around. It seems like the time is slipping through my fingers...

We spent Sat with friends in the lower blue mountains & we did lovely marbling & sketching (while the guys worked on fixing up our camping trailer outside in the cold), then yesterday Nan & Pop came for a visit & Bon was given some beautiful sketch pads & pencils so she spent the whole afternoon drawing & copying images from a Faber Castel DVD teaching kids how to cartoon...this is her picture called "Crazy Cows". She is getting into art so much. (I've been doing big pictures & posters to try to help one of the Librarians at school that I'm friends with too - it's fun!) I know that she is very much her own person, yet I see so much of myself in her. Her gentle ways, her love of music & art, her clumsiness at times, her compassion for others, & her caution at trying new things...I can't believe I have a living daughter who is so wonderful. I stare at her sometimes & get a glimpse of that baby I nursed so many years ago...

I worked 2 casual days last week & I still feel exhausted. Some aspects are like riding a bike. Some things are all so new. It's a different school since I was there...some lovely kids, some disrespectful kids, staff that need lots of love & encouragement....you'll laugh when you hear what I've taught. Food tech, Yrs 1, 3, 6, Yr 7, 8, 9, 11,  Geography, Computers, Special English, GERMAN (lol) & Music...& good old playground duty...a bit of everything. Although I haven't had to teach Yr 10 year - those boys just look so huge...& look like they're ready for a fight at any time...

Well...back to the daily chores. With so much rain I'm STILL trying to catch up on all the laundry. 

Crossing my fingers & hoping that in a week or so I'll get to visit Queensland...not holding my breath though as we always have to expect the unexpected...

Cavalry went home yesterday...

This was a snap of us camping last year...feeding the cheeky ducks at Kangaroo Valley...

The lovely MIL has been here over the weekend to help all us sickies...

I had a reasoable sleep last night so feel semi-human again...I keep waking up at about 1:30am & am drawn to watch late night TV shows...

My tablets are nearly all gone...

Miss Bonnie now said her throat is sore...as does Eric...

D currently at an xray venue to get some "snaps" of Miss Bon's thumb so we can finally find out if it's broken or not. (Because of the place where they think it's broken you have to wait a while after the fall before the xray - sounds like abuse to leave her in the last for so long, but 3 Drs & a physio have said that this is what you do for this sort of break...so I'll agree with them I guess...)

So lazy & worn out & sick of being sick...what a crappy Easter holiday. David's got the camper trailer because the plan was to go camping this coming weekend...I've got 4 days to fully recover...I just don't know if that is going to happen y'know....

Anyway, back to having a cuppa & watching Yo Gabba Gabba with my son...

Facebook & Twitter...talk about time wasters...but sorta fun too...

Part 2 - Bonnie's Hospital Adventure

Bonnie was performing in the afternoon assembly (as a lion) & I was just shoving in a banana sandwich & grabbing my keys when the phone rang. 

I answered. It was D. 

"Elissa, Bonnie fell over at school. She'll be in sick bay. She doesn't want to dress up for assembly..."

Rolling my eyes. (Talk about unsympathetic I know!) After sooooo many falls at school she insists on running on concrete. Last time she grazed down one side of her face & she has so many bruises & cuts. I just throw tea tree oil in the bath so much as an antiseptic. I just thought...typical, my daughter inherited my clumsy genes.

I drove up to school - no rush because I didn't need to get to the assembly on time now. Praying as I drove. (She often falls to pieces when I arrive after a tumble. There's something about mum & comfort. Dad is Mr Funbags, but Mum is the one who cleans up the blood & poo & vomit etc etc...)

I get there & she is screaming in the toilet. D is standing outside, holding her costume looking distressed. 

I enter the toilets. 

"Mum, I can't wee."

"What do you mean you can't wee. Sit on that toilet & try to wee."

She sits there & starts screaming the most ear piercing scream I've ever heard. Hysterical fear & pain. 

'Mother bear' just takes over. Right. Hospital. Grab son from the assembly. Drive husband & son home. Drive to hospital as quickly as possible in wet. Comfort sobbing daughter in back of car telling me how she is "busting to wee". What the hell has she done? Fractured her pelvis? Ripped something? Twisted something internally?

Arrive. 

Thank God - only ONE person ahead of us. Bon paces up & down the room. 

"Mum, I can't wait any longer."

See triage nurse. Bon tries to explain what happened. 

Hop on bed. 

Nurse tries to examine "that" area. Blood on undies...can't see anything because Bon has totally flipped out & is screaming HYSTERICALLY. Nurse rushes to get Dr. Meanwhile Bon EXPLODES with wee, I am standing there with not even a scrap of tissue to collect it. Bed wet. Hunting for SOMETHING to mop it up. This is a damn hospital, isn't there a pad or something I can use? A blanket even???

Dr comes running. 

Tries to be polite. 

(In my head: Just hold her down & look. Stick a catheter up her. Give her pain relief. DO SOMETHING!!!!!!!)

Next thing she is in a wheelchair, taken to a kids bed in emergency, crying, scared...they put something on her finger to measure her heart rate, they check her blood pressure & said they needed to do a decent investigation...perhaps under general anesthetic if she'd done major damage, or perhaps put numbing cream on the area so they could see...

I have a bad track record with parking in the wrong spot at hospitals & not seeing the signs, so I had to go & move the car from my "30 minutes only" spot before getting booked. I actually found a spot where I didn't have to pay money & there were no signs telling me I couldn't park there...phew. 

Rush back. 

I came back to a Bonnie who had told them she would not be examined under any circumstances unless Mummy was there. They said that they had phoned the Sydney Childrens' Hospital & were waiting for advice. Phone D. SMS people & ask them to pray. I think we played iSpy with just about every single thing in the area we could see. We diagnosed all the kids that we could hear & see around us. I helped give her some pain relief & then she went all silly. Perhaps that was strong stuff? But at least she calmed down. Until she needed to wee again...

I took her to the bathroom & she danced & hopped around for 10 minutes. 

"I want to but I can't. It's going to hurt..." Meanwhile I'm trying to mop up some old guys wee who peed on the floor...

More hysterical screaming. 

We worked out that as she'd fallen at school she must have slightly grazed that whole area so the acidic urine was stinging & her fear of the pain was helping her keep those amazing pelvic muscles closed. I guess it's like after having a baby - that area can be sore when it's tender (not the good pelvic muscles bit)...I had to keep that Mrs Calm-oh-I-am-so-CALM-even-though-you-are-screaming-the-hospital-emergency-area-down voice! 

"Yes Bon, I can hear what you are saying. It certainly hurts. But if you don't wee there's going to be more problems."

And (LMAO) as we headed toward the toilet the male nurse said "Can you see if you can get a sample - mid stream?" 

We got I think, Oh, about 3 drops before my freaked out daughter had had enough of the whole process. 

By this time it's about 4:30 or so? No afternoon tea as we're not sure whether we are heading to theatre...

"I need to wee mum"

Dr: "How about trying to wee in a small tub of warm water?"

Poor male nurse hunts all around for the biggest thing he can find for her to sit in & said he'd leave it to me to help her. Curtains close. Bon takes one look at small metal basin & give me one of those WTH looks. "I can't even climb onto THAT! I have a sore hand."

OK, (observing her dancing around) we can try the toilets again. Grab sample bottle. 

Arrive back at toilet. 

THANK YOU GOD, someone has cleaned up the whole area with disinfectant!

More dancing, more crying, more stress. 

Be patient Elissa, don't strangle daughter in hospital toilet!

"Mum I think I could try to do that wee."

We even got MID STREAM. 

Bon worked out a way to sit, a way to hold paper on sore graze that didn't hurt quite so mindblowingly. 

Proudly strut back to bed (wrapped in huge hospital gown as sports uniform was weed all over during previous explosive wee) & wave sample at male nurse.  

Dr comes in again. "No word from kids hospital, but can I get you a coffee?"

I'm sorry, did I hear you correctly????????

Caffine withdrawal improved, & nurse found me sandwiches - fresh & made that day even! What is happening to the hospital system? 

Ah yes. Back to waiting waiting waiting. 

This is the way I remember things with D & his cancer treatment. HOURS of waiting. 

Triage nurse comes in. "Are you STILL here?"

YEAH!

Dr comes in to examine Bon. She was VERY brave & let her check. Held my hand & grimaced in my face. Poor little sweetheart. 

"Well, I can't see anything."

Great. 

More waiting. 

Then at about 9pm when I thought I'd be heading home to bring her some PJs Dr returned with an ultrasound machine. Ugg. Although I had some bad memories of ultrasounds I was relieved to see something happening. 

OK, that sac is the bladder with wee in it. (I'm amazed considering she had been a few times & hadn't been allowed to drink all afternoon.) 

"Emergency at the kids hospital said  that if you go & wee & can empty it all the way then you can probably go home."

Tears. I don't think I can do a wee. I don't want to wee. 

MAN OH MAN, IF YOU WEE WE CAN GET OUT OF HERE. WEEEEEEEEEE

She managed to wee - THANK YOU UMPIRE, THANK YOU BALL BOYS, THIS GAME IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!

Dr: you can probably eat now. So Bon had afternoon tea + some stuff the nurse brought + asked to stop at Maccas on the way home!!!!!

The Dr then said "You've been complaining about that hand, why don't we have a look at it." Pain, sore...rather than wait another 4 hours for xray she suggested a little bone near the thumb probably was broken & she'd put a preventative cast on it (must keep dry - are you for real lady?) & let us go. So at least it LOOKS impressive, even though the thumb was the least of her problems!

I got the car & she was lead out wearing her gown & a blanket. An ex-student I taught gave her an encouragement award as we left. 

We got home to a drugged out D who had been fielding calls all night from people who heard. He was in distress. His daughter was in hospital. It's different being the carer rather than the patient. Good for him to see perhaps? We ate our Maccas. The kitchen was a disaster zone, Eric was bathed & in bed though & had eaten...something.

It was about 11pm when I fell into bed. 

SO that is my debrief.

Grateful that it wasn't more serious. Grateful that she was able to do that final wee because if she hadn't passed that test I would have been driving to Randwick (in the city) at 11pm for xrays & MORE waiting... 

These are the times when you realise what you signed up for as a mother...yet I wouldn't exchange it for anything. To be the parent of an amazing little being really is...not always what you expect, but always interesting & NEVER DULL!!!!!!!

Pensive Ric...

Nanny just send me this photo of "pensive Ric". 

Can't believe my tiny baby was born 5 years ago tomorrow (Monday). Today we spent some time with Nanny & Pop & he got to wear the 'birthday hat', we blew out candles & we had a lovely simple lunch of chicken & salad & bread rolls. My little wee one is growing up before my eyes.  

He is full of all kinds of funny sayings. When he is trying to tell me something is happening next week he'll say "yesterday, the next day"...he is loving Prep, he loves numbers, he tries to answer his sister's Year 2 mental homework, he loves mud, & mess, he loves jumping castles, he loves playing with the boys especially "Jacob-my-friend" - which is what he ALWAYS calls him (lol) - his best mate, he loves watching footy with Dad, he loves skeletons & superheros & lego & funny shows & all kinds of "boy" things - which are so fascinating to Mum, having watched no boys growing up!! It is such a joy listening to his tales, watching his boundless energy & his love of all things "boy", without needing guidance he gravitates towards jumping castles & cars & balls & sport etc. It's such a joy watching him sit with D, looking up at him with adoration in his eyes, or that intense wonder at trying to learn what it is to be male...hooray for little boys!

Tomorrow - fingers crossed - Eric goes to Sydney aquarium with his Dad. When D was ill in hospital Eric used to pray at bedtime that one day he could go on a train to the city & go to the aquarium with Dad. It's been cancelled about 9 times to date for various reasons so I really hope they get to go tomorrow. 

Bonnie has been a bit narky & has seems to have a large amount of complaints today. This afternoon she's been snuggled up in a blanket. Nan & Pop just left to go home & I felt her forehead - HOT HOT HOT. She's running a temp the poor little thing. She's been so weary today - NO WONDER!!!!!!!! I'll keep her home tomorrow - much to her delight! (Much to my horror after planning a free day.) But that is what being a mum is about...loving kids through their hard days & the good. So Eric turns 5 & goes into the city with Dad, I'll be here nursing Miss Sickie. How I love them all...

Bah Humbug!

I let Bonnie play with her art things - there are bits of glitter from one end of the house to the other! Harrumph!!

Yesterday was a busy day - Eric had his final day of Preschool (after the Thursday concert) & Mummy was emotional. Daddy came to take some photos & then we went off for some special Bonnie time - we got haircuts (not D, just the girls),  then we went to Gloria Jeans for some caffine & milkshakes. We went to look at the bike we want to get her for Christmas at the local bike shop. She is growing up! Dad went off to his end of year staff luncheon & I had promised Miss Bon a "Happy Meal". I don't know what's so happy about it, but I guess I didn't have to prepare it & it was something she wanted. It was just so wet & miserable for our "Mummy/Daughter Day" I promised we'd try again on a nice sunny day & have a picnic or something like that. 

 

It's been a week of much angst, more tears, late night talks with, (I actually got to bed before MIDNIGHT last night - wonderful to sleep), & phone calls & meetings as D tried to sort out a work position for 2009. Because this is a public Blog I can't pour my heart out here...not about what's gone on anyway. But after months of angst something is sorted. I feel so hurt & disappointed by all that's happened though. We had some dear of friends (who are a part of the Healing Ministry in the city - connected to St Andrews) come around to pray for us this week. He had been through such similar situations at his work (another school) it was so perfect for D to hear someone who has been there & able to give wise advice & encourage us. Still, we feel so emotionally & physically exhausted. It's been such a rollercoaster...I thought nothing could be as bad as last year watching my husband fight cancer. At least you know your "enemy" with that. There is a cancer & you have to beat it to live. It was quite definite & there were clear protocols to follow. How to you battle lies & misinformation being spread around? What happens when you try to tell the truth & people have formed an opinion before you've spoken & do not accept your words? It has been devastating to watch. I've never been through anything like it in my life. Yet I am so proud of D - a lesser man would have crumpled, or yelled abuse, or left...yet he still cares for his workplace & wants to be a part of it. For 2009 anyway. I am so proud of him my heart could just burst. Most people will NEVER know the full extent of what he has faced over the last term. But the few who do have been so encouraging to us. Life will go on...with forgiveness...but it's very hard to forgive at the moment. I know that I can't do it on my own, in my own strength - praying that I can be a part of that school & learn to forgive. I've seen people getting bitter & twisted (& ill)  in their unforgiveness. I don't want that. For the sake of my children - who will both be at this school in '09 - I have to "suck it up" & move forward. I don't know what is ahead but at least we will have money in the bank for another 12 months. Can we not have a QUIET year this coming year - drama free? Is THAT possible at all?? I'm putting in my request for a healthy, easy year!!

I'm going to look for P/T work too...overwhelmed by that thought!

Trying to get organised to go away to spend Christmas with the in-laws...

Just so tired at the moment...bah humbug!!

Frazzled Shopping Mum

Just back from a budget shop with Bonnie. People were in such a rush, we were getting mown down by trolleys...do I really move that slow, or has everyone else picked up their pace since I was out last. I went through a big gift shop & Bonnie was so delighted by all the ornaments & decorations. It was lovely to be there with a 7 year old for a change, & not a jumping breaking smashing hiding 4 year old. She certainly has come a long way...it was so lovely to be out with her...There is a day coming up when Eric will be at Preschool & Bonnie has finished school & we are planning a "Bonnie & Mummy Day". So lovely to be out with my daughter today. Even though she broke the shoes & crown off the brand new fairy I bought her as we - brace yourself, yes, we ate JUNK FOOD - went to Maccas for lunch because we were starving & the local sandwich bar was packing up...

Anyway, the food is packed away, the car is in the garage, the kids have eaten, the jug has boiled & I am about to have a cuppa & put my feet up on the lounge before the next fight breaks out...