Saturday, December 13, 2008

Bah Humbug!

I let Bonnie play with her art things - there are bits of glitter from one end of the house to the other! Harrumph!!

Yesterday was a busy day - Eric had his final day of Preschool (after the Thursday concert) & Mummy was emotional. Daddy came to take some photos & then we went off for some special Bonnie time - we got haircuts (not D, just the girls),  then we went to Gloria Jeans for some caffine & milkshakes. We went to look at the bike we want to get her for Christmas at the local bike shop. She is growing up! Dad went off to his end of year staff luncheon & I had promised Miss Bon a "Happy Meal". I don't know what's so happy about it, but I guess I didn't have to prepare it & it was something she wanted. It was just so wet & miserable for our "Mummy/Daughter Day" I promised we'd try again on a nice sunny day & have a picnic or something like that. 

It's been a week of much angst, more tears, late night talks with, (I actually got to bed before MIDNIGHT last night - wonderful to sleep), & phone calls & meetings as D tried to sort out a work position for 2009. Because this is a public Blog I can't pour my heart out here...not about what's gone on anyway. But after months of angst something is sorted. I feel so hurt & disappointed by all that's happened though. We had some dear of friends (who are a part of the Healing Ministry in the city - connected to St Andrews) come around to pray for us this week. He had been through such similar situations at his work (another school) it was so perfect for D to hear someone who has been there & able to give wise advice & encourage us. Still, we feel so emotionally & physically exhausted. It's been such a rollercoaster...I thought nothing could be as bad as last year watching my husband fight cancer. At least you know your "enemy" with that. There is a cancer & you have to beat it to live. It was quite definite & there were clear protocols to follow. How to you battle lies & misinformation being spread around? What happens when you try to tell the truth & people have formed an opinion before you've spoken & do not accept your words? It has been devastating to watch. I've never been through anything like it in my life. Yet I am so proud of D - a lesser man would have crumpled, or yelled abuse, or left...yet he still cares for his workplace & wants to be a part of it. For 2009 anyway. I am so proud of him my heart could just burst. Most people will NEVER know the full extent of what he has faced over the last term. But the few who do have been so encouraging to us. Life will go on...with forgiveness...but it's very hard to forgive at the moment. I know that I can't do it on my own, in my own strength - praying that I can be a part of that school & learn to forgive. I've seen people getting bitter & twisted (& ill)  in their unforgiveness. I don't want that. For the sake of my children - who will both be at this school in '09 - I have to "suck it up" & move forward. I don't know what is ahead but at least we will have money in the bank for another 12 months. Can we not have a QUIET year this coming year - drama free? Is THAT possible at all?? I'm putting in my request for a healthy, easy year!!

I'm going to look for P/T work too...overwhelmed by that thought!

Trying to get organised to go away to spend Christmas with the in-laws...
Just so tired at the moment...bah humbug!!

No comments: