My wonderful parents Heather & Kevin. This was them on a date. How stylish were they? (I have learnt to scan photos so now I'll be able to have some regular pics of things in here...soooo excited about that. I had to do some for the High School Reunion & it turned into a midnight scanning frenzy!!)I have some great photos of mum & dad now ON THE COMPUTER. How I miss them. My SIL acknowledged the other day how hard it must be having kids without parents there...it made me teary that she 'understood' now that she has a daughter of her own. I love D's mum but I think as I grow older, towards my 40's & the age when Mum had me I really really miss them more, her especially. I think giving birth to children & not be able to tell your parents how much you appreciate all they did for you - because some things click into place when you have a child of your own - is so hard. (I realised how SELFISH I was, I realised how little I knew,I realised what an incredible journey having a child was & I wanted to ask more questions about my 'history' & me.) Dad died suddenly when I was 24, & Mum died in her sleep when I was 27. I'm so glad they were there to see me Graduate from Uni & Dad was able to walk me down the aisle, but there are so many little moments that I don't get to share. I don't want to sound like I'm whining...I am grateful I had them for so long. I hope David & I can be there for Bonnie & Eric for many years yet...because I know how sad it can be to go on your life journey & not get to share things with the people who raised you & love you unconditionally...
David & I were talking about backdating/starting another Blog with all the Leukaemia information & photos etc...that would be a mammoth job though. David thought that after his counselling session yesterday he would look on the internet for people that were also dealing with life after a BMT...he found Baldy's Blog (Adrian Sudbury) which we started looking at + the uTube video Blogs. Then we found this...
I was a bit of a teary mess after seeing some of that hospital footage - it brought back many memories of last year. But I was able to talk to D before we went to sleep last night about some hopes & even fears. I love that man...so desperately. Some people are so strong, so determined, so focused, endlessly positive & I reel off balance in the face of their strength sometimes. We live each day as well as we can, not knowing what is ahead, but trusting in Something & Someone bigger than ourselves...yet it's hard...it's so hard reading that cancer has claimed yet another life. Another one of our Quest for Life friends has died...you think I would not be shocked any more, but the reminder of the preciousness if life always makes me want to double my efforts to live well...
1 comment:
Gosh Lissy, you really take after your dad. Look at those eyes and smile. (((((((hugs))))))))
Something that I struggle with is the lack of a guarantee in life. My own experience has show me that no one is exempt from the pain of loss. Maybe knowing this helps those of us who have experienced loss to live meaningful lives but sometimes, I personally would like to have a break and just feel naive about it all. You must feel that way too sometimes. (((((((hugs)))))))
Your parents are beautiful.
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