C.S. Lewis

A quote I was sent today:

"We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us;

we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be."

One of my oldest & dearest friends sent me an email this morning asking me to pray for them.

Her husband was in Liverpool ICU with suspected Meningococcal Meningitis.

My heart broke & I thought this is how people must have felt last year when I told them that David had Leukaemia. Helpless. Sad. Shocked. Prayerful. 

Tonight news came through that he was responding to the drugs. 

What a relief...though it's serious & he's in isolation. 

We are all so fragile.

David got home from a bike ride with Eric last night & hoiked up his lunch all over the front garden. This is not the body of a healthy man yet. But he is trying sooooo hard to get some fitness back. I think Pilates is much better. I stagger around after gym sessions...so I understand. 

I took Bonnie to a birthday party this afternoon. Near me sat a Dad who survived cancer too. The birthday girl's mum spoke about her own Dad going for a walk one night & being killed - she was only 13. I don't know what's worse. Watching your father die, or never getting the chance to say goodbye? She also had a lovely downs syndrome son - who they were told to abort. Yet he is so precious to them. He kept pinching Bon's food when she wasn't looking which was quite funny...it reminded me that we all have our journey, & we are all walking along our own road, trying to encourage each other as best we can. Surely no-one can escape suffering?

Before I left a parent/teacher grabbed me by the hand & said how much she would miss D as Principal. I choked up & she choked up. Despite the fact that he's not in 100% of health, I think we are all going to miss him in that role. We feel like the rug has been  pulled out from under us...can't get our heads around it all...yet here's to 2009. We all face it together! My husband is alive, my children are well & we love each other so much. I know that the $$ will be tight - but surely we can make it through this coming year. We got through 2007, 2008 - surely we can do 2009?

C.S. Lewis - a brilliant man. Also a man that was no stranger to suffering himself so he doesn't write from some perfect ivory tower. Life certainly can be painful, yet I firmly believe that in the end there will be answers. 

You'd better not pout, you'd better not cry...

Christmas photos at the local mall...come on, sing along...Went to pick up the pic today & low & behold, it was a lovely photo of the kids. In the past Eric has been screaming & Miss Bonnie looking stunned, but that's half the fun I say. But the lady ahead of us had to have THE perfect photo. Her little girl was NOT going to be happy in the photo & was determined to keep away from the big scary man in red. I would have just said "take the photo tears & all" & have in the past because it's fun to look back on those pics...I don't understand how people have to have a perfect picture during something totally unatural. How often do we plonk our kids on a strange mans lap & expect them to be really happy not to be safe in our arms??

Anyway, here's my daughter - the little sharkette who has lost 8 teeth & is regrowing them, &  my son in his favourite "spiderman" t-shirt doing his cheekiest grin!! And a little worse for wear Santa looking like he needs a good stiff drink?

What a blessing these two are to me. I'm looking forward to Christmas with D's parents. It's not been a happy end to the year, but we have much hope for 2009. Here's to good improving health for us all...

...&  the ability to work...

Advent Conspiracy!

Check it out!!

Bonnie & Eric

Well. Here are the promised photos. 

This is Bonnie getting her merit award from Daddy (when he was the Principal). The last merit award she will ever get with Daddy in that role at school. I think it's for neatness or something very "girly" like that. She has inherited some of my artistic genes I think? She loves her work neat & organised. I don't think Eric will be like that at all. If only her BEDROOM was a little more neat & organised??

This is Eric the night after the crash into the step splitting near his eyebrow. We are currently trying to rub lots of Vitamin E cream into it to try to help the scar. Perhaps when he's older it will be a "sexy scar" that he can show his wife. ("Oh yeah, I did that when I was 4 1/2 tripping into a step in my Prep uniform.") Hopefully there won't be too many scars...but life is full of the sort of things that gives us scars - not just on our skin either!  

Bah Humbug!

I let Bonnie play with her art things - there are bits of glitter from one end of the house to the other! Harrumph!!

Yesterday was a busy day - Eric had his final day of Preschool (after the Thursday concert) & Mummy was emotional. Daddy came to take some photos & then we went off for some special Bonnie time - we got haircuts (not D, just the girls),  then we went to Gloria Jeans for some caffine & milkshakes. We went to look at the bike we want to get her for Christmas at the local bike shop. She is growing up! Dad went off to his end of year staff luncheon & I had promised Miss Bon a "Happy Meal". I don't know what's so happy about it, but I guess I didn't have to prepare it & it was something she wanted. It was just so wet & miserable for our "Mummy/Daughter Day" I promised we'd try again on a nice sunny day & have a picnic or something like that. 

 

It's been a week of much angst, more tears, late night talks with, (I actually got to bed before MIDNIGHT last night - wonderful to sleep), & phone calls & meetings as D tried to sort out a work position for 2009. Because this is a public Blog I can't pour my heart out here...not about what's gone on anyway. But after months of angst something is sorted. I feel so hurt & disappointed by all that's happened though. We had some dear of friends (who are a part of the Healing Ministry in the city - connected to St Andrews) come around to pray for us this week. He had been through such similar situations at his work (another school) it was so perfect for D to hear someone who has been there & able to give wise advice & encourage us. Still, we feel so emotionally & physically exhausted. It's been such a rollercoaster...I thought nothing could be as bad as last year watching my husband fight cancer. At least you know your "enemy" with that. There is a cancer & you have to beat it to live. It was quite definite & there were clear protocols to follow. How to you battle lies & misinformation being spread around? What happens when you try to tell the truth & people have formed an opinion before you've spoken & do not accept your words? It has been devastating to watch. I've never been through anything like it in my life. Yet I am so proud of D - a lesser man would have crumpled, or yelled abuse, or left...yet he still cares for his workplace & wants to be a part of it. For 2009 anyway. I am so proud of him my heart could just burst. Most people will NEVER know the full extent of what he has faced over the last term. But the few who do have been so encouraging to us. Life will go on...with forgiveness...but it's very hard to forgive at the moment. I know that I can't do it on my own, in my own strength - praying that I can be a part of that school & learn to forgive. I've seen people getting bitter & twisted (& ill)  in their unforgiveness. I don't want that. For the sake of my children - who will both be at this school in '09 - I have to "suck it up" & move forward. I don't know what is ahead but at least we will have money in the bank for another 12 months. Can we not have a QUIET year this coming year - drama free? Is THAT possible at all?? I'm putting in my request for a healthy, easy year!!

I'm going to look for P/T work too...overwhelmed by that thought!

Trying to get organised to go away to spend Christmas with the in-laws...

Just so tired at the moment...bah humbug!!

The Aussie Teenage Boy!!

This is a link to a song that pretty well sums up some Aussie boys. Very like many students I have taught...

Sort of, Dunno, Nothin'

Helped at the Preschool Christmas Party today!

Far out those Preschool staff work hard! I swept floors, fed kids, helped little ones, served food, washed up, wiped spills, cuddled, chopped fruit, snuck chicken nuggets & pizza for myself too...phew. What a busy busy BUSY - did I say BUSY - day!! I tried not to cramp Mr Independant's style too much. He'd look up & roll his eyes & say "Oh, mum is STILL here!!" LOL. 

If I see one more piece of Christmas glitter confetti on the floor I'm gonna scream though...it was great to take my mind off the crap week we've all had here. 

Started an amazing book called The Heavenly Man. I'll write more about it in another post. 

This is how I feel today...

...devastated...

Sensing a theme here?

The cleaning is slowing down a bit...I'm off to the gym to burn off some more steam actually...yesterday I also enjoyed savagely ripping weeds out of my garden. There's nothing like getting your hands dirty when you need "thinking time".