Something Bon's class did...

The last day of WINTER...

...hooray!!!!! I hope that my body starts to relax more as Spring arrives, & I can shift this dreadful infection. Sick of phlegm, snot, tissues, coughing & lazing around...well actually, not so much the lazing around ;-)









Feeling a bit crazy with this infection, so I painted my nails blue yesterday. As I type it makes me do a double take to see blue tapping on the keys...

*like*

...this makes me want to get organised...when I'm feeling a bit stronger that is...

*dislike*

Can't believe I've got it AGAIN...I am shivery, & if I've blown my nose once I've blown it a million times in the last 2 days.

Feeling very bummed out. Eric had his Infants Carnival over at "The Fridge"...so worried about him freezing over there. I'm not there to cheer him on, have morning tea with him or help my little boy. Instead I am STUCK here blowing blowing blowing sneezing sneezing sneezing & feeling miserable. Trying to not crawl into a heap. I just had a shower & I am going to try to put clean linen on our bed...

I have rehearsals this afternoon, I have to be at school Monday for rehearsals, I have to play for a student at a recital Thurs arvo, & the following week it's THE MUSIC HSC. I simply do not have time to be sick...

I am trying to read (Lily Bragge's book - more of that in another post) & tossing up whether or not I should cancel the rehearsals here this afternoon. Every half an hour I change my mind...

*like*

an epidural gone wrong...

Yesterday I was quite emotional after reading in the local paper about a poor mum who was accidentally injected with antiseptic instead of anaesthetic for the epidural during her labour...you can read more here. I went to tell D because he had nearly 20+ doses of chemo into his spine to kill off any Leukaemic cells lurking in there...I remember the sadness every time they had to do it, I remember how it became harder to get the needle in as it became more & more scarred in that area. I remember once the Dr accidentally did something wrong & splashed some of the antiseptic into his face as D sat terrified that his spinal fluid was spurting out (which seems funny now, but was scary at the time). I remember he heard that someone "somewhere" was accidentally injected with the wrong drug & died because the body couldn't deal with those toxins. He used to joke with the staff to try to gee himself up & make a joke like "I hope you don't inject the wrong thing" - then he realised St George was where it happened, then he realised why everyone was quiet...uggg.

I sat wanting to send this mother our love...she must be in so much pain, she must be heartbroken! Imagine going in to have a baby & months later be able to move, unable to sit up, unable to feed, hold or care for your baby. It's such a devastating story...praying that her little boy is still able to feel her love, & praying that somehow her body is able to flush out those toxins...it's just too horrible to contemplate...

Washing Day Blues

D & his flatmates used to call it the "washing day blues". I have clothes that must be breeding in my laundry baskets...I am trying to catch up!!

I was called up TWICE this morning to do a casual day. Can't do anything with Miss Bon still sick. But I guess while she relaxes I can do some housework...& throw away about 1,000 or so tissues she has blown her nose on...

Blue is Miss B's new favourite colour...

...she is home sick from school again today. This made us smile...from here I think...

Comics

Been using a great program on my computer called "Comic Life" that is set out like a comic strip & you can put photos into the boxes & add comments etc. D showed me last night & unfortunately I can't stop fiddling with it.

I tried to upload some pics here, but it wouldn't let me...I'm going to try again. I've been putting together some "then & now" pictures for the music department at school.

Bonnie is home sick today so sadly I couldn't meet with my lovely ladies from Bible Study. Having serious withdrawal...

How much do I love great quotes?

Pinched from here...

Subdued Saturday

It's been a quiet day for me here. Still trying to encourage my immune system to fight fight fight off these germs, but not attack my own system...it's a fine line. Ahhhh, the joys of having immune problems. Trying to be positive. It sort of feels like fighting yourself...that sounds strange I know. So my joints have been sore - the way they are when you get the flu, but mine have made it hard to get around. Tomorrow the kids will go for yet another Sunday walk after church...& once again I won't be able to go with them & Dad. So it's been a sit & think kind of Saturday. I have been reading through a beautiful site though by Gitzen Girl & when I read about her bravery & her battles with health I feel more peaceful with my own battles. I don't feel quite so overwhelmed now by my Lupus & then I read a great post by Petrea King - whose conference we went to in late 2007. I am still chewing some of the things I learnt there in my mind...it's been nice to have a subdued Saturday!

Some people love to be around others all the time & feel renewed that way - I feel fantastic after peaceful times away from noise & people. Just some peace & quiet to think makes me feel so much better. Some people roll their eyes at that thought. A friend once said I was like a recluse...I bristled at that comment initially, but I guess I can be at times. I am not an extrovert like her. I'm different & that is OK. If I feel overwhelmed by big groups I don't stay long, or I don't go. I give myself permission to do this now instead of having to constantly PLEASE people. Even with D, sometimes I have to say "Sorry, I don't feel up to that. But you should feel free to go." People have their opinions of you, & it's sad that some people don't "get" me. But then, I've made judgements about them too I know. D & I watched an interview & the singer said something like: "there's the person that people think you are, & the person you want people to think you are, & the person you really are!" He said the closer those things are the better...interesting.

Auditions

My little girl, my little "I-will-never-go-on-the-stage" girl is auditioning today so that she might get the chance to go in the school performance night. Whether or not she gets in I don't really care - yes, honestly - because she is really brave in just trying out. She is going to be playing a piece that she wrote herself called "Falling".

So a) I can't believe this is the third little piece she composed, b) the fact that she said she would like to audition AT ALL...I am loving the fact that piano seems to be her "North Star". I never have to ask her to practice! In the last 6 months without much encouragement from me, it all seems to have fallen into place for her & she is at her most relaxed sitting at the piano. I love that she is having lessons with a lovely encouraging godly lady (a dear friend's mum) who recognises that Bonnie is a gentle creative soul. I wish mum & dad were still around to ask them if she is like me as a little girl, as I apparently was drawn to piano also as a young girl...

I keep looking at the clock, thinking of her. D said that she practiced reading her watch all the way to school this morning. (She has a set time for her audition & I think she is a little nervous about missing it!) LOL. Where is the round little baby thatI held in my arms not too long ago? She is growing into a young girl now...

This reminds me of me as a girl...

...and now my daughter who is doing the premier's reading challenge...

Don't you LOVE a good book?

Little Dorrit

 After watching Miss Bon at a Gala Day playing Newcomeball in the FREEZING WIND this afternoon, I am off to bed with a steaming hot cup of coffee &  new book which arrived from The Book Depository - have you seen it? It's a shop in the UK & they send cheap books all over the world - for FREE. How do they manage this? I don't know, but I bought Charles Dickens book Little Dorrit for under $12. The BBC show was fabulous, but the detail in the book opens up a world of detail & images - all 1071 pages of it :-) I've only read ONE chapter...but with a golf ball in my throat every time I try to swallow (no doubt not helped by the cold winds at the playing fields) I think I shall be reading this a lot over the next few days as I sip warm drinks & shiver in bed...

Getting ready for performance night...

Been planning & thinking about a STOMP inspired performance for my Year 6 classes for the Primary & Infants Performance Night.

Apart from some kids that have the focus of a pea, things are slowly falling into place. (I can make comments like that about them because some of them have absolutely no manners & have made my return to teaching after the ten year gap quite frustrating...at times wondering why I am there, but I know that big combined events for a whole year of kids - especially a big year like Yr 6 - is one of those things that they remember, one of those things that are awesome for the quiet compliant hardworking kids that are grateful for every little thing!)

I think I can picture it all now. Phew. I've got ONE MONTH before D Day.

I just struggle with some of these kids with a real surfie relaxed manner...they STRUT into my class & don't contribute well, they don't observe & support their peers...I really feel so sad. The age gap is really growing between myself & my students - am I really getting so old that I can't "get" them? Yet, it is right across the school, not just in Primary school - but I am reading a Library book about Calm & Compassionate children & I know that there are many many of these beautiful children within my school...but I am really struggling to reach out to encourage them, because I am dealing with the urgent, rude, distracting, arrogant...I know it is the cry of all teachers, but it is so very very disheartening to throw yourself into extra curricula activities, to have kids retort "Do I have to be in this?" "Why are we doing this?" "I want to do something else" etc.

Then I have a girl in another class who SNEERS at me when she comes into the room & she whispers to her friend SMIRKING at me. She really doesn't like me (like I care - I have adult friends, I'm her teacher) but I find her really fascinating because she is so young, yet she acts like a Year 10 girl. Where has she learnt to act like a girl full of hormones? I stood on a chair this week a) to shock them & create a different view for the kids & b) to be able to write at the top of the white board...everyone else took that in & went with it (& probably thought - "crazy teacher"), she sneered (what is it with that sneer?) & leant over to talk to her friend, eyeing me, whispering, laughing, & then more sneering...uggggg. I want to crack her defences & help her enjoy music. But then I just have to chant: You can't reach everyone, you can't touch every single student, just keep doing your best & keep presenting them a high standard of teaching, & expect a high standard of work from them.

That is my vent tonight. I have two classes - they are like black & white. But unfortunately I end with the negative class. This tends to colour my opinion of how it's going...sigh...

I try to build myself up with people like Megan Dredge & various Education Blogs that inspire me, rebuild me & spur me onwards with great determination to not give up on these kids...

I've just been asked if I want to work TWO days next year!

Oh, & Bonnie's been sick...

Freezing, windy, wet & cold

Don't know who this is, or where it is, but it totally sums up how I feel tonight...

BRRRRRRRRRRRR