Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Getting ready for performance night...
Been planning & thinking about a STOMP inspired performance for my Year 6 classes for the Primary & Infants Performance Night.
Apart from some kids that have the focus of a pea, things are slowly falling into place. (I can make comments like that about them because some of them have absolutely no manners & have made my return to teaching after the ten year gap quite frustrating...at times wondering why I am there, but I know that big combined events for a whole year of kids - especially a big year like Yr 6 - is one of those things that they remember, one of those things that are awesome for the quiet compliant hardworking kids that are grateful for every little thing!)
I think I can picture it all now. Phew. I've got ONE MONTH before D Day.
I just struggle with some of these kids with a real surfie relaxed manner...they STRUT into my class & don't contribute well, they don't observe & support their peers...I really feel so sad. The age gap is really growing between myself & my students - am I really getting so old that I can't "get" them? Yet, it is right across the school, not just in Primary school - but I am reading a Library book about Calm & Compassionate children & I know that there are many many of these beautiful children within my school...but I am really struggling to reach out to encourage them, because I am dealing with the urgent, rude, distracting, arrogant...I know it is the cry of all teachers, but it is so very very disheartening to throw yourself into extra curricula activities, to have kids retort "Do I have to be in this?" "Why are we doing this?" "I want to do something else" etc.
Then I have a girl in another class who SNEERS at me when she comes into the room & she whispers to her friend SMIRKING at me. She really doesn't like me (like I care - I have adult friends, I'm her teacher) but I find her really fascinating because she is so young, yet she acts like a Year 10 girl. Where has she learnt to act like a girl full of hormones? I stood on a chair this week a) to shock them & create a different view for the kids & b) to be able to write at the top of the white board...everyone else took that in & went with it (& probably thought - "crazy teacher"), she sneered (what is it with that sneer?) & leant over to talk to her friend, eyeing me, whispering, laughing, & then more sneering...uggggg. I want to crack her defences & help her enjoy music. But then I just have to chant: You can't reach everyone, you can't touch every single student, just keep doing your best & keep presenting them a high standard of teaching, & expect a high standard of work from them.
That is my vent tonight. I have two classes - they are like black & white. But unfortunately I end with the negative class. This tends to colour my opinion of how it's going...sigh...
I try to build myself up with people like Megan Dredge & various Education Blogs that inspire me, rebuild me & spur me onwards with great determination to not give up on these kids...
I've just been asked if I want to work TWO days next year!