Saturday, August 14, 2010
It's been a quiet day for me here. Still trying to encourage my immune system to fight fight fight off these germs, but not attack my own system...it's a fine line. Ahhhh, the joys of having immune problems. Trying to be positive. It sort of feels like fighting yourself...that sounds strange I know. So my joints have been sore - the way they are when you get the flu, but mine have made it hard to get around. Tomorrow the kids will go for yet another Sunday walk after church...& once again I won't be able to go with them & Dad. So it's been a sit & think kind of Saturday. I have been reading through a beautiful site though by Gitzen Girl & when I read about her bravery & her battles with health I feel more peaceful with my own battles. I don't feel quite so overwhelmed now by my Lupus & then I read a great post by Petrea King - whose conference we went to in late 2007. I am still chewing some of the things I learnt there in my mind...it's been nice to have a subdued Saturday!
Some people love to be around others all the time & feel renewed that way - I feel fantastic after peaceful times away from noise & people. Just some peace & quiet to think makes me feel so much better. Some people roll their eyes at that thought. A friend once said I was like a recluse...I bristled at that comment initially, but I guess I can be at times. I am not an extrovert like her. I'm different & that is OK. If I feel overwhelmed by big groups I don't stay long, or I don't go. I give myself permission to do this now instead of having to constantly PLEASE people. Even with D, sometimes I have to say "Sorry, I don't feel up to that. But you should feel free to go." People have their opinions of you, & it's sad that some people don't "get" me. But then, I've made judgements about them too I know. D & I watched an interview & the singer said something like: "there's the person that people think you are, & the person you want people to think you are, & the person you really are!" He said the closer those things are the better...interesting.