Depot Beach (far away in time...)

Depot Beach (near Batemans Bay on the NSW South Coast) was such a lovely place - rainforest on one side & beach on the other. Camping is always full on, especially before Christmas. I have sent no cards, have not bought all the pressies I hoped to, but it was so lovely to be surrounded by such beauty. Here's some snaps our friends & the kids captured last week...

Gatro Bug Hit Here Christmas Eve...

...we are still recovering.

(Actually Drama Queen got it while we were camping & shared it with us...what a nice Christmas pressie.)

...waiting to see if Superboy gets it...

In between carols at the Myer music bowl in Melbourne on TV I was running to the bathroom...

..."noice"!

BEWARE - it's going around...

Post Christmas 2010

"From our house to yours, Merry Christmas sweet friends. Glory to God in the Highest and Peace on earth!"

Sunday

What a great day out - on a boat, friends, prawns, bubbly, sun, water...it doesn't get much better than that...

Anne girl...

Watching Anne of Green Gables...brings back so many memories of watching it in Year 11 & talking about it with my best friend. Makes me feel wistful & nostalgic...

It's been a big week...a picture paints a thousand words!

Happy First Day of Summer...

Well, it's rainy & miserable, but Christmas time is coming...

Life has been busy. It's involved hospitals, recovery, laughter, a wedding, a beach, report writing, learning, music, writing, praying, hugs & more laughter...

Roll on school holidays I say. Starting to think about Christmas time...

Delightful

I'm about to sit down with a piece of chocolate, & a cup of coffee...

...delightful!

Check up...

Went off to get a check up today with the ol' Lupus Specialist.

Platelets still pretty low. Kind of disappointed that they hadn't changed. But not low enough to warrant meds. Phew. Next step prednisone...last step spleen out. I'm nowhere close of either of those yet.

Busy day. Weary weary...just navigating my way around the hospital is hectic. Heading in next week for an infusion...it should help my bones for about a year. That will save taking super strong drugs once a week (which I haven't actually been taking)...

I'd lost my forms, so after seeing the Dr today I went straight to the chemist to order the meds & phoned ambulatory care STRAIGHT AWAY before I had a chance to lose these forms...so there's no turning back now...

Moving

Superboy's BEST friend is moving to Perth!

Yesterday he didn't seem bothered. Then I pointed out where Perth was on a map. This morning there were tears. Poor little guy.

Feeling teary myself...but I think that's PMT...

Breathe...Friday is nearly here...

I've been marking exams for the last two days. By this afternoon I HAD to go out to buy chocolate (ie: "the teacher's lifesaver when hitting a marking slump") I have two late paper's tomorrow THEN I AM DONE...until next week.

The Drama Queen has been fairly patient with me...but she herself has exams so I have been trying to help her study & not snap at her when she asks me to spell something for the 50th time & I lose my train of thought...I just realised she had swimming this afternoon at school & I didn't even ask her how it went. *Forehead slap* - bad mother, bad mother...

Superboy is on edge too because he's so tired. I haven't been getting them into bed as early as I should. Tonight they had cheese on toast because it was nearly time for bed & I realised that pasta AGAIN probably would have caused much complaint! This afternoon he severely reprimanded me because I had taken all his toy puppies.
Me: Yes, I thought I would put them into the wash because they needed a bath
SB: Mum, you should have TOLD me you were going to do that!!!
Me: Well you were at school!
SB: Well, you should have told me BEFORE school!

Sing along with that song "I'm walkin' on sunshine, woh" but change the words to "I'm walkin' on eggshells" & you'll have this house.

D recovering. They are exploring GVH in his lungs now. Lots more medicine back onto our draw in the bedroom again...but as I said to a friend this afternoon - we have a house, we have each other, D is still here. We might be in debt & still be paying off Christmas laybuys, & we might just have chicken sandwiches for Christmas lunch but there is lots of love here!

I've washed up, nearly finished packing lunches...it's after 11pm. I might crawl into bed....zzzzzzzzzzzz

You'd better not shout, better not cry...

only 7 weeks to go...???

How I feel sometimes...

Mates...

Superboy (with a freshly painted tiger face) & his mate Master Chef!

The West Wing

When D was diagnosed in 2007 some people at school had a whip around & bought him the box set of West Wing episodes.

2010 & I am working my way through them again. I am into Season 2 at the moment & totally addicted.

There's not a lot of housework being done at the moment, but lots of smiles watching through this show.

Having said that, I'm just trying to keep everything ticking along smoothly here at home. Keep the kids happy & help them organise their bags each day, lunches packed the night before & things reasonably tidy to keep it a stress free zone for D. Life's hard for him at the moment as the emotional enormity of the last few years is hitting him...life is such a surreal thing isn't it? Praying for continued recovery - big picture. Little picture day to day things can be hard too. Most people wouldn't know. So proud of him. So in love with him.

My little Superboy & Drama Queen are going well too. Drama Queen gets a merit award tomorrow. Superboy fills us with lots of joy & give lots of cuddles at the moment. Especially with his Dad! D had to go to the Dr recently & Superboy asked was the cancer back? Where did THAT come from? Perhaps it is hitting us all at the moment...

I couldn't do this...

...but I like it visually!

Just watched 'Motherhood'

Just watched this - not a brilliant movie, but there were many nods & smiles to be had throughout this...

Superboy had to go visit the GP for a checkup yesterday for a bad cough. After driving for nearly an hour through super slow traffic in the rain in a manual car (talk about giving my legs a workout) we had to wait for a while because we were late. Then we had to go downstairs to pathology & wait for nearly an hour there because he had to get a nasal swab to test for whooping cough "just in case". So Superboy is quarantined until Thurs if tests negative & Sunday if they're positive. Then, if he is positive we all need to get meds too...sigh. I don't think that's what he has. He is much better today & we are squirting those meds into him really diligently!

I went to bed early with a migraine yesterday so wonderful hubby - though exhausted after work & pilates - brought home pizza for tea, got the kids sorted, Drama Queen's bag packed, everyone into bed & the kitchen cleaned up. Then he had to go through his own routine of new meds & trying to get himself off to sleep, combating certain drugs that are stimulating his system?

It's those nights when you are ill & have to crawl into bed that the deep love grows when hubby takes over & you don't have to stress out that you are married to Mr Hopeless & make yourself ill trying to do it all while ill. My heart goes out to single parents - they are totally amazing creatures.

I have to get some lunch now & hang out some laundry...I do love being a mum, but it is hard work!

There were days when I cried & longed for children, not knowing if I would ever have any. My heart breaks for those who have lost children & those who cannot have them...mine have taught me so very very much about life...

Quote at Gitz

I love Fridays

I love the end of the week - no ironing uniforms or packing lunches for a few days.

I love Friday night fish & chips!

I love crashing at the end of a busy week.

I love D who is off having his last massage for a while...due to lack of $$$. It's a shame that people recovering from cancer don't get all these things at much cheaper rates. Pilates, passage, good food - it all adds up. It's all drained our account so that we are going backwards instead of forwards. The $$$$ I saved up for the new bathroom is having to go towards paying off debt instead of something new & exciting. We live in a house that is falling down around our ears & we are unable to fix things...sigh. But we have D alive, & we have each other & we are plodding along despite both our health issues & lack of $$, trusting that we having a loving God who cares for us...

We're JUST had holidays & I feel like I want some more!

But I am grateful D is here with us. I am happy we have a home to live in. I am happy we have some money - a little, but we can buy food each week. I love my children. I love my church community. I am learning more about life each week. I like to work. I like going to my little womens group & reading the Bible & praying for them & having them pray for me...so many people don't understand what we are going through, but many do, & many try to. I hope that this time next month we will all be in a better place...

In the holidays we...

 played keyboard...

 tidied Nan's games cupboard...

 went on a train ride...

 played with some cousins...

 and celebrated Nanny's birthday!

Term 4

Back into it - my classes went really well. African music was off to a great start, as was my new classical music course...

On the other hand poor D is not well at all. Totally exhausted & unable to do anything much...it's like his cold is turning into chronic fatigue or something? He has no extra weight & no resources to recover from this cold. I am very worried. Angry at the school for putting him in this position where he has been overworked this year...but I don't know who to blame really. It's just been messy I guess with people coming & going & resigning etc. Hard to reshuffle staff...but the priority is helping D get better. Work doesn't come & scrape you off the floor when you crash, they just employ someone else. Family & friends do the scraping...I feel weary myself, just having helped him through the hols with his dreadful cough, now he has nothing left...poor sweetheart. This Thursday is an appointment at Westmead. I wonder if they will discover anything to help him?

These flowers are so cheery...just had to put some on the Blog today. I'm off to get a lovely big cuppa & read some Bible to get my head in a better spot for the day...

The Case for Music Education

I am psyching up for Term 4 ... can you tell? Just home from putting up lots of new posters all around the Primary music room & about to plan some lessons...

Music really is great for kids. I think this clip might be a bit corny at times, but I have seen it make a wonderful difference!

D is out having lunch with "the executive" from work. He is pretty unwell - dragging himself there I think. Post-transplant the immune system takes time to recover from...well, anything really. I feel exhausted listening to him cough cough cough & let's admit it: there's not much FAT on the man, so there's no padding & if he loses weight it's pretty bad. His tummy muscles are getting a work out. Poor sweetheart. Next week will be very busy...I hope we can all have a quiet weekend!?

The Battle is Real

David & I have supported Open Doors since we first heard about them in 1989. This stuff blows my mind...they care for widows, they bring food & supplies & Bibles to those who need them. It's hard to get my head around the fact that some people are tortured or killed for doing the things that I am able to do in total freedom each week...

Researching...

Our bathroom is getting so old. I am struggling to keep on top of the mould & the poo brown tiles are looking so old...so I am researching bathrooms. I don't want anything moved around, I just want WHITE tiles & flick taps - for those days when my joints are sore...but I don't want to spend too much. I have put all my earnings into a saving account this year so I am slowly saving up the amount...slowly.

Sunday Shakes & Coffee...

A friend sent this when we lost Max & Lucy...

I've been reading through the journal I kept when we fell pregnant with the twins.
It's been hard to read it.
Yet I am so glad I kept it because there were many things I'd forgotten.
There were the ridiculous comments people make because they don't what else to say of course, BUT there were some amazing generous people who loved us. I was probably too numb to realise their love at the time. But reading back through the journey I am amazed at their practical support...
It was a horrible horrible time. But Max & Lucy taught me many things - about love, life & suffering. I will miss them forever, but I am glad I got to love them & they lived surrounded by our love for that time...

They were due around this time of year...

I am learning

I am learning more about technology.

I've been making posters for the Primary Music Classroom all day & planning some Term 4 work while I still have the energy.

I am learning how to connect my camera to the computer instead of waiting for D to help me...and this laptop has a camera in it...amazing...

*like*

swallowfield

The Class of 2010...

I went to the Yr 12 Graduation up at school today. The Class of 2010! It only seems like yesterday I was at my own...the Class of 1988!! I sat with a parent up the back today & we might be sitting together again to watch the class of 2019 graduate - me with my eldest child, her with her youngest!

So much has happened since the 80s...life has certainly been an adventure.

It hasn't gone exactly the way I thought it would go...

Well, if I consider the negatives:
I never thought I would battle health issues or get used to being around hospitals quite so frequently...
I never thought I would have nearly died THREE times (so far) in my life...
I never thought I would experience the loss of innocence taken from me by someone I trusted...
I never thought I would lose my parents before I was ready to say goodbye, in my 20s & with so much left to ask & learn from them...
I never thought I would have to say goodbye to my little twins at 20 weeks & deliver them knowing they wouldn't take a breath...
I never thought I would take care of my hubby - the strong one, who had taken care of me, fight for his own life & battle the horror of Leukaemia...
I never thought my heart could be broken so much before I'd even turned 40...

I can't remember ANYTHING that was said to us at our farewell in Year 12. I think we had a guest speaker. I think there were LOTS of tears. What would I say to those graduating now? What would I say to the me that I was back then?

I think I would say that life is very precious & shorter than you know. I would cheer myself on knowing that I had been through so much already. I think I would say that people, places, things...they all fade or disappear. There are some things that are more important than material wealth, than fickle friends, than career...there is Truth that is unchanging. There is One who will wrap you up & be faithful amid overwhelming grief & horror. There are things that will last for eternity, but they are not the things that most people chase after. The little girl in Year 8 that sat on her parents red lounge & read the New Testament got to know the Living God. Although so many people told you differently THAT was one of the best decisions you ever made. The One you met there has carried you, guided you, helped you, protected you, loved you & blessed you in hundreds of different ways & He continues to teach you...

Life does not always go the way we expect it to. But there are choices we have. There are people we can love on this journey. All of this fades. The shopping item that inspires sits to one side a few weeks later gathering dust. The job becomes, at times, just plain old hard work. When we die what do we leave behind? What sort of lives should we lead? What really counts?

I knew lots of facts & enjoyed the love of good friends back in Year 12. Sometimes I think the Lissy back then was full of courage & hope. I think I was at times braver than I am now. Now I feel more worn down.
I would ((hug)) that 17 year old girl & tell her she was loved by God, & that I was proud of her. I'd tell her to never give up. I'd tell her awesome times were ahead. I'd tell her terrifying times were ahead. I'd tell her that we all have our own path to travel on...but there is much much joy in the journey, & in the end there is only One that we have to answer to. Jesus.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

This was the theme of the Year 12 Activities Day this year.

And so we have an actor & an artist ;-)

Quote from the Gitz site...

*like*

Doesn't this look delightful...from here...

Prayer

reading a really interesting book about prayer...