Post Christmas Wearies

Can't get motivated to clean or do anything much apart from nibble lefftovers & walk around in a total daze...kids are still singing carols. I am knee deep in kids artwork as they create madly due to bad weather outside...

Wish we were warm, at a beach somewhere...

We're home for Christmas...

Back from Mallacoota (Victoria) camping with friends...posting this pick then back to the 20 baskets of laundry before visitors arrive for Christmas...better tidy this bombsite....

You give me fever...

Poor little Ricky is sick as anything with a fever that I can't get down...off to the Drs this afternoon.

This photo was taken at the start of Preschool - two years ago - but the forlorn look & pale face is the same today.

I'm off to pop him in the bath to try to cool him down.

It's beginning to look a lot like...

Christmas...

& I feel like I am walking through a fluffy cloud. I keep shuffling piles of things to do around the house, & I can't get determined enough to get on top of anything?

All Eric wanted for Christmas was a green nutcracker. Done.

I've stuck with our tradition. Something to read, something to make, something to play with, something they are currently "into"... bits & pieces in a little bag.

However, I don't have anything for my husband, or family...I can't seem to think clearly enough...then there's the whole expense AND Christmas isn't all about the gifts, it's all about HIS gift of sending his son & letting us know we are all precious & loved isn't it?? Then there's the whole grief for people who aren't here with us to celebrate & I feel especially emotional & teary at this time of year.

As soon as school finishes I think we are heading off for hols with dear friends who we really click with & who think along similar lines to us, so that will be so encouraging at the end of a busy year.

Off to pick up the kids from school now...not long until Eric is in Kindy...where did THAT time go???

The Cornerstone Blog: Call me Judge Judy Jr.

The Cornerstone Blog: Call me Judge Judy Jr.: "She even knows how to give 'the teacher look'!"

Reading reading reading...

Fantastic book...great recipes...great ideas...great website...

Trying to not splurge so much. I think I am still in holiday mode...

Trying to get ready for December. The house is a mess, the calendar is filling up. I'm trying to find quiet moments to think, to meditate, to pray, then there's the whole neverending saga of housework that seems to grow if you have a quiet day...

But I have many blessings. A wonderful boy who is getting ready to finish his year at Prep & move into the exciting world of Kindergarten. He is such a character & he makes us laugh our heads off at least once a day. He is also my sensitive little soul behind the tough exterior. I told him that a colouring in page looked like he scribbled on it, & had to leave the room. When I got back he was sobbing on the lounge. HOW INSENSITIVE!!!!! I was so sad to think I'd upset him so much. Upon a closer look I told him I could see that he was obviously colouring in the lovely blue water around the fish..."silly mummy". Words can wound so quickly...

Bonnie is finishing up the year. She is grappling with all the good AND bad things about friendships & learning & growing up. We are all looking forward to school finishing I think! She is loving swimming lessons & piano lessons. She's enjoying reading & just amazes me with the things she has learnt at school, or the way she puts bits of rubbish & paper together to make some "treasure" that clogs up her room!? All those artistic genes in her are bursting out! Give her some paper, & some pencils & she's the happiest girl in the world. She is my long lanky Princess...

David is going so well - despite the itchyness & the scleroderma. It's so wonderful to have him here. So awesome that's he's off all his drugs & able to eat whatever he wants. I remember that first Christmas - he had nasty GVH in his mouth & I was phoning the hospital in desperation. All he could drink was lots of water & milk & all he could eat were prawns!!!! This year we'll plan a nice menu?

Two years down the track is very different!

Well, there's lots to do around this bomb site...I'd better get off the internet, shut down eBay & Etsy & get something done before it's time to pick up my daughter from the bus stop. Better get out of my PJs too...

Wish I was still on hols...

...we had such an awesome time...it's hard to get back into the crazy rush rush rush of life. I feel like I'm back from another planet & I can't get my groove back!

What a lovely picture...

...it just makes me smile...

from a great blog called Down-To-Earth (see blog list)

Holiday snaps...

Check out a selection of the best HERE!

we're home...

...coming home is the most wonderful wonderful feeling - but you have to go away to have that joy about coming home.

It makes you appreciate your own special "space", all the nooks & crannies & the ease of hot water, a fridge with food inside, a washing machine (who'd have thought I'd be grateful for THAT!?) & our special soft bed...

We enjoyed our two weeks away - so many wonderful memories made, but oh so great to be home.

Off with a cuppa to read the weekend paper in peace while the kids make mud pies in the dirt outside...life is wonderful...

static

confounded

poor ric is the latest to sucumb to the gastro bug...my brave boy...

(this was him over a year ago on his first day of Preschool)

Sunday Thoughts...

This was D + kids in the middle of some dark days. I think there was some throwing up involved not long after this pic was taken, as his gut was still very much in recovery mode post BMT. The kids were so stoked to be near him, to have him home. It brings back so many emotions to see this snap again...I am so glad that David is here. Many people don't get the chance to get past the transplant stage as it wipes out their body...they get rid of the cancer, but the life afterwards isn't quite what it was...it takes its toll...

I am enjoying reading inspiring things this week...

* a blog about a lovely lady's battle with pancreatic cancer - an American

* talks by a guy called J.John - a pom

Trying to squeeze everything into my life & there's never enough hours in the day.

I prayed in church this morning (I was rostered on) & it is such a blessing to be able to do this after years of should I/shouldn't I floating around in my head...it blesses ME more than anyone else I think - who'd have thought it'd work like that. Despite my nerves & my lack of ability to "improvise" well. Apparently there was lots of joy yesterday as a lovely young couple got married, but before their service there was a funeral for a month old little boy whose heart just hadn't worked properly...incredible highs & lows in this life. Tears & joy are never far apart I read this week - so true.

Tomorrow "preppies" have morning tea in a local park. Then we are visiting dear friends down the coast. They navigate life around MS. Then Yr 12 are coming for a "study BBQ". I have blood tests due, I need to finalise dates for a holiday that I pray we can finally have & through all this time Miss Bon has a wiggly tooth that is driving us all NUTS. It just won't fall out. So life is full of the mundane & the precious & the fun...

Thank You so much God for all the good things in my life. I am so grateful, & though I'm not really happy about all the hard things, I pray that good comes out of them. I don't know what, & it doesn't make much sense to me sometimes - when I shake my fist up at You, I know You have answers, & I know I won't shock You...nothing takes You by surprise! You say that one day You will wipe all our tears away & there will be no more suffering, no more pain & there will be such incredible newness, it will be overwhelming...how I long for that day...

Food Poisoning...

Thursday

* Miss Bonnie went to a special small beading class at the local library this morning. I'm about to pop my feet up with some new books & a cuppa - one of my favourite things to do in the world! She made some earings, a bracelet & a ring. Lovely to be able to treat her to do something special...perhaps one day she will make me something like the beads in this picture?

* We tried to do 100+ things on our trip out on Tuesday...unfortunately we bought some take-away before heading off to swimming. Whatever D bought gave him food poisoning...chicken. Uggg. We laughed that at least we had plenty of V bags left over from the cancer/tranplant days & his aim is still quite good. Poor guy still recovering. He won't listen about what specifically to eat so I don't think he's comfortable after lunch today, but at least there is something in his gut & it's staying in there...

* It is blowing an absolute GALE here at the moment. Phew...just hung some laundry out finally to get some UV rays on it...should be dry in seconds??

* We bought a new reading light for the lounge room - something we have spoken about for YEARS. I found a bookshelf too that we will stain & that little area where we put our oil burner & water feature bubbling away & special things that make us smile - it's going to look lovely. Our little treat...

* Oh it was good to sleep last night...I hope to get to bed earlier tonight & I hope to sleep even more. It's so hard to be Mrs Nurse to Mr Sick...

* Watched a show about Christian musicians from the 70's Jesus movement. It was really inspiring. I am such a child of the 70's...

Holidays

Hip Hip Hooray for the school holidays...

Sunday

* footy final tonight...BOO HOO, Parra didn't win

* found out we can chop down the huge gum tree right in front of the house that is pushing up the concrete & dropping branches all over our roof - kinda sad, but dangerous in strong wind

* daylight saving & my body is screaming with confusion

* spoke to one of my sisters today about parenting & how it changes as the kids get older

* put away about 4 baskets of washed clothes - the treadmill of laundry

* read the weekend paper

* played lego & tickles with my son

* watched my artistic daughter make a collage

* cooked a baked dinner with chicken

* ate garbage

* drank lots of lovely coffee

* watched a colony of ants try to move their eggs into our music studio & then left poison all around their entry point

* read sections of a book by Christopher Reeve about life after the shock of an illness/accident. Inspiring...

* prayed

* remembered to take some vitamins

* looked at the mess around the house & sighed

* reminded D to phone his mum on her birthday

* tonight we listened to lots of music by a guy called Chris Rice, & some ambient stuff this morning - Kitaro etc.

* thought about how different our life would be if all our children had lived...

Precious children...

We sponsor a child through Baptist Aid (even though we don't go to a Baptist church). So many little ones endure so much suffering throughout the world. Poverty, malnutrition, lack of education, slavery...it's almost overwhelming if you let it rush over you. I've just been reading about the child sex-traffic industry...it makes the blood boil!! This world can be full of such incredible beauty, yet unbelievable suffering...

We all wrote to our young man Isaac over in Kenya this week & sent some photos. We hope that our small contribution - although it fells like a drop in an ocean - might help him & his family...

Year 12 are having 'Activities Day' at school - there is fun food & rides & games etc for Prep-Year 11 & the theme is the circus...so I sent a little strong man & a tight-rope walker off happily this morning...can't wait to hear how it all went...found this great image of a strong man on a blog somewhere...so sorry that I can't remember where...it helped me put a mo, eyebrows & a teensy beard on Eric this morning - thank you whoever you are...

Flashforward...

Imagine being able to look into the future...what would we see, would it change the way we live, could we change the course of our lives...

What a great sci-fi concept. The TV series Flashforward started tonight. Free-will v. Predestination, Hope v. Reality, etc. I didn't realise it was based on a book that was released in 1999 about an event in 2009. (The book sounds very different from the TV series - as books often are!!) Very interesting...

But it's getting too late here for deep thoughts...I've had a busy few days - casual work, art group, shopping, a wedding, & the old body just needed to rest today. I'm falling asleep...

More thoughts soon I hope...

Me & my boy...

It's a cold day, I dropped Bon at the bus stop this morning, I don't have to work, D is home with a nasty chest infection, & I'm relaxing with my boys.

Especially this little cutie patootie!

We are snuggling up watching ABC Kids...well, we were but I hopped onto the computer to check emails...

Family Life...

Some snaps from the last year or so...

Bus Crash

Today wasn't quite the day I was expecting...it started with news that one of the school buses was involved in a crash which was more traumatic than I first realised. 

Felt very emotional & teary by the end of the day, but so grateful to God that no children were more seriously injured...it is pretty miraculous that they came out with mainly scrapes & bruises...

Today I saw our school at it's best: staff who had a day off arriving to try to help out, parents bringing in coffee, children comforting younger kids, people pulling together & planning how best to help the school community. 

Monday morning I will be sleeping in, but praying from here with Eric, as the morning briefing will involve trauma counsellors briefing the staff who will then try to help kids who might need to share what they've been through...

I'm relieved that I won't be working so hard next week but I really feel for those kids involved & the families of those killed. Kids from our school were OK, but what about that couple who died - did they have children, were they happy that morning, do their friends & families know they they were killed, what happened as the car started drifting across the road. 

As I sat in the staff room listening to the trauma counsellor speak to the staff my eyes welled up with tears thinking - this is what happened in 2007, only at that time the focus was on Leukaemia & how the kids would feel to hear that the Principal had cancer. Today it was another tragedy & reminder of this fallen world we all live in with all it's pain & suffering...

Bed time, cuppa time, rest time...

Glad it's the weekend...

Exhausted

One day to go before I finish this 2 week block of casual teaching...counting down. I've loved it, but I'm too tired to think about anything else to say...totally exhausted...

This is me...

Drama Queen

I've just finished Week 1 of a two week block of casual drama teaching...only taken on because the teacher was called up for HSC Marking at the last minute & the school really wanted a teacher who could take the children for that time - aiming for consistency for them. Eric is allowed to go to Prep full-time, just for these weeks. It's good to be able to support the school, but it's certainly taking it's toll on my body. As much as I'm loving it, I think I'd be hesitant to say yes again...for a while anyway? I'm grateful I don't have to work full-time. Anyway, the talent of some of the students is AMAZING. Year 12 did their HSC yesterday & I saw all the individual performances - they were just so incredible...they could have been professional actresses. Just truly amazing. Well prepared, enthusiastic & beautiful girls. What a joy to be in the audience!

It's reminded me to be prayerful for the staff there as it really is such a HUGE responsibility to teach children. There is so much going on every day, so much to take into account, so many children...TEACHING = the hardest job, but also perhaps one of the most wonderful ones (when a day goes well). 

But after having children & having various health problems over the years I don't think I have the same physical strength to do it with the same energy as I did in my 20s. As I head towards my 40s it's a more gentle focus? I don't know that I could get up dancing with Kindy & running the most energetic music lessons for hours every day, then come home & cook, clean up, wash, pack lunches, keep the uniforms & ironing up to date, pay bills, shop for food etc etc etc. The myth of "having it all" - the career, the family & the fairytale life really is a myth. Something has to give if I were to go back to that - & my body just wouldn't let me. My relationships with the kids would suffer too because I'd be so weary & grumpy ALL the time. 

Having said that, the kids have been so helpful this week. Eric had a Fathers Day morning at Prep today. Poor D came last in every 'father' half of a race, but then Eric would sprint on home & win in the 'Prep' section. That boy is Mr Competitive. Every Dad was there, it made me happy that D was there to share it with Eric. My eyes keep welling up with tears thinking how sick he was...Yesterday Miss Bonnie was asking about the local reactor & we spoke about how D had radiation to kill the cancer. After a while she said "Mummy, can we stop talking about this, it's making me feel teary & sad." She is the sweetest most sensitive girl sometimes. I am so glad that we can talk about what we've been through...

Thousands of things have happened this week. My head spins, & I am grateful that it is Friday. Hooray for the weekend. I'm off to bed...zzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Fathers Day Sunday...How I miss you Dad. You've been gone 14 years now. I hope you would be proud of me. I will never forget what a great Dad you were - a gentleman & a scholar. I wish I could have that one last hug, one last conversation. You were gone so unexpectedly, so quickly, so suddenly...I never got to say Goodbye. I wish you had met your 5th & 6th grandchildren. They would love you so much. They remind me so much of you at times. Your first grandson is so cheeky like you...I love that you kept all your cards from me. I have them still. I wish I'd kept more of yours. I am keeping things from my children now. Happy Fathers Day Dad. Bless you. I love you forever. XXxx

Crafting

Though I feel like death warmed up because it's that-time-or-the-month & someone snuck in last night & stole all my energy, I think I might go to craft group this morning & do some more work on my cross stitch? (Not the pictured one of course...) I should, of course, be tidying up around the house...I'll just see how I go...

Memories...

At our school Year 12 are doing their trials at the moment. After this term they will be finished their schooling & it will just be the HSC left to go...

It only seems like yesterday we were all celebrating our final day of school with a champagne breakfast - Deb, Linda, Melissa, Mandy, Julie, Michelle, Justine & I took the snap...so much joy, lots of fun, laugh till you nearly wet yourself type of days. They were so good. I look at Yr 12 & wonder if they are as happy or carefree as us. Sure, we were stressed too, but there was so much joy to be finishing & moving on & growing up...I look at these friends & I've hardly kept in touch with any of them!! We move in so many different circles now. But those years were so good together...

I wonder what we would have thought if we'd been able to look into the future or what advice we would now give our 17/18 year old selves?

Ahhhh, the 80's. When Seniors at school tell me they're having a dress up party with an 80's theme: flouro, big hair, marble jeans, big earings etc I wonder why? (That was my youth..D said "Oh, that's like a 60's party for us." LOL. That's what we used to do...)

My poor lawn...

I am off to attack my lawn & get those dreadful weeds out. My Dad kept his lawn in such good shape. He'd be horrified at mine! I know I'm a black thumb...but I try...

Then off to get a new Music Book for Miss Bonnie for piano lessons. D is off to get his bike serviced. 

I'll try to stay away from Etsy & eBay this weekend. 

Tomorrow D is playing in the church band - only the second time in years. I'm on the prayer roster so am looking forward to planning that later today...

Here's to a lovely weekend. Hope it warms up...

Hippity Hooray it's...

FRIDAY. How I love Fridays!!

There will be no cooking for Mum, uniforms in the wash & ironed & put away for the weekend. Friday night SYTYCD & Footy, baths & snuggly jammies.

My bones are starting to thaw out at Spring quickly approaches! HOORAY!

And wonderful news: D's check up at the hospital yesterday went really really well. His bone marrow is making some good stuff. Despite the ongoing issues - which seem extremely frustrating for us - for the Drs, he is never "as bad" as some others & they want to keep him off drugs (immune suppressants & steroids) as much as possible. I never expect a negative report, but my throat felt very tight - a physical reaction to the fact that he was back there being tested perhaps. Though in my mind I didn't think I was worried, my physical body was. 

And D was able to bump into our lovely friend Geraldine who has just had sweet baby Matilda, & now has to prepare for her own BMT! I want to pray for her & her family so much...when I feel like complaining about life I don't have to look far before I feel ashamed of my lack of appreciation for the thousands of blessings around me!

Great Family Weekend

...involving coffee, shopping, exercise, handball games where even Mum got to be "King" for a few rounds, church, the weekend paper, art, lunch out together, mud & shaving cream pies, laundry, inspiring shows, reading, cuddles & much much laughter. How I love weekends like that.  

Little Fish...

The kids went to swimming lessons this afternoon. Bon's first since D got cancer, & Eric's first ever. I was so proud of them both! One of the teachers commented on Bonnie's lovely long swimming arms...she's been telling me all night that she thinks she could be a great swimmer. Talk about blossoming under praise! 

We found some swimming on TV after tea & she asked me if I'd come & cheer for her if she became an Olympic swimmer. (I'd be there with a heart about to burst with pride waving banners & jumping around the stand going beserk!!??) 

Then she said "Even if I came last Mum, you'd still be proud wouldn't you?!"

Absolutely my precious little girl! (She's up for another Merit Award this week too...sweetheart!)

I thought Eric would jump in before the teacher could hold him & drown he was so super keen. 

He is brave - & they are lovely kids. 

Poor Eric was shopping with me yesterday & decided he'd like to sit in a Wiggles car while I got some cash out of a teller machine. Next thing a girl came up to him & was screaming in his face "GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!" My jaw dropped open & I looked for the mum who mumbled a mild "Don't say that pet." Eric was so gracious. He looked to me for the OK to keep sitting there so I gave him a wink & said "You can stay there if you'd like" but after a few minutes of being screeched at he sweetly said "You can have a turn now" & hopped out. There are so pretty wild children out there, & some pretty wild parents...

Feeling very proud of the kids tonight. They really help me keep putting one foot in front of the other sometimes...

Off to do some reading with a cuppa I think...zzzzzz...

Bittersweet last day of school holidays...

The kids are enjoying their last taste of holidays for a while as school goes back tomorrow. They are watching Charlie & the Chocolate Factory with Depp - a favourite! I wouldn't mind drinking some liquid chocolate from that river to give me some sugary energy! Actually there are probably lots of things in the chocolate factory that I'd like to try...what about an everlasting gobstopper?

I'm off to do something mundane & boring - like hang the washing, or clean the mess around this computer as my desk has moved into Bon's room...which means of course everything that was in it needs a new home. That's what I have to do today. 

Miss Social Butterfly has been invited to a swimming birthday party this afternoon which scares me considerably as she can't really swim, AND we don't have a pressie OR money in our shopping account until Wednesday when we're paid again...sigh...

Anyhoo...I want to enjoy this "last day" before the routines of the morning change. No more wandering into the kitchen at 9am for a cuppa. Uniform & shirt ironing, homework helping, picking up, shopping, waiting for the casual work phone call, ravenous children at afternoon tea time, early dinners, early baths, assignments, playdates...

P.S. There are lots of happy kookaburras around our house today. They never cease to make me smile!

Goodness me...

...I've got a head cold AGAIN. 

This week the kids are still home because their school doesn't go back until next week...

FAR OUT. This is the week that I'm meant to be taking them to parks & the movies & lots of fun stuff they've missed out on...darn it all!!

I'm off to bed with a tissue or 100...

Warrior Mothers

Reading this amazing book at the moment...autism in children & how diet can be a huge help to those children who have it...amid other things.  It's written in such an interesting way that I can't put it down! The kids are watching episodes of Thomas the Tank Engine, the house is a total mess & it's lunch but I'm trying to read more...

That fierce love & determination to help our children makes my chest puff out with admiration for all the parents in the book who are pulling out all stops to help their children. (I read about it on someone elses Blog somewhere.) I do agree that the amount of toxic chemicals in our society are really affecting children & the number of children with illnesses & allergies continue to increase. You can't tell me it isn't. As a teacher I see it! Like Jenny McCarthy I wonder what the future holds for our children unless we do something about it?

Better go wash the dishes...darn it!

eBay

eBay is my new best friend!

Been buying a few cool things - why do we bother buying brand new things all the time & wrecking the environment when one man's trash is another man's treasure?

The intention is to SAVE money of course...spending to save...hmmmm, not sure that is working...

Starting to feel a bit better after the whole winter flu disaster here. 

Almost Perfect

Just read an awesome book by a lady called Kelly Denley who decided after having 8 kids, that she wanted to head back to school to do her HSC. After getting through that with 97.3 her family seemed to be struggling at school with so many issues that she & her husband decided they would throw everything into their cars & travel around Australia to improve relationships within their family & create some memories for their children. As someone who has just had to cancel their holidays with a camper trailer it was a little sad/bittersweet to read it these holidays, but also inspiring & made me laugh & cry. There is nothing better than a  great biography to read. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED BOOK!!

Now, back to blowing my nose again...

P.S. Been so caught up with my own miserable cold that I just realised Miss Bon looked very flushed. She's been in with Dad in the studio & has been complaining about how COLD it is today. She's got a huge polar fleece dressing gown on. Just took her temp - the poor darling is running a fever of 39.4. No wonder she looks so dreadful, she's shivering with a fever. She's just curled up on the lounge now with a DVD of the Muppets to sooth her. Last night she didn't sleep until 1am. When I got up for a toilet break I heard sobbing & she said "I can't get to sleep, my leg aches". She fell down the ladder to her bed the other night so I just thought that perhaps she's broken something in her foot or it's bruised after that? I got out the heavy duty pain medicine for her & a chocolate to help it go down & she was so desperate to sleep she knocked it all down - very unlike her to take medicine without kicking up a huge fuss. Maybe it was all her joints aching with this cold she's got. (Dad took her in to his work yesterday & she was out in blisteringly cold winds on some play equipment - rolling my eyes! I'm sure that contributed!!) Off for another cuppa now & to keep an eye on her. Hot Chocolate & Kermit. What could be better when you're unwell!?

I wish I was...

...going to the new Harry Potter movie premier tonight instead of sitting in bed sneezing & blowing my nose!!

Sheesh I'm a whiner aren't I?????? 

2 years on...

Two years ago (on the 13th July) David had his brother's stem cells put into his veins via his central line to give him a chance to LIVE. His body was filled with chemicals & radiation to totally destroy any remaining cancer & to totally destroy his immune system to give it the best chance to accept the new blood. We prayed & prayed that this would find its way into his bone & start the work of making new fresh marrow...

Two years down the track I am so happy that David is here - alive - with us. It has certainly taken a toll on us all though, & some results from this whole process remain to be fully seen. It has taken its toll on us all - emotionally, spiritually & physically. 

Here he is on his 40th birthday this year...there are many health issues that continue & instead of being a time of wonder & joy this is actually a time of darkness for him I think as he comes to grips with his life & his dreams...yet each day we put one foot in front of the other & we move forward - sometimes without realising it? Life does not stop so we can wallow in our private anguishes, it rushes ever onwards. It's like that Leunig cartoon of a man walking along a dark path looking up a laneway at bright lights & the arrow pointing up the laneway says "the life you could have lead" but the sad character continues along the path that says "the life you lead". That kind of sums up where I think he's at...

Heaters, blankets, snuffles & prayer

D going stir crazy after a week of coughing at home so has rugged up & headed off into wild blue yonder for an hour. (Eric's eyes welled up with tears as he left. Sometimes he is so sensitive & on the ball with what Dad is feeling!)

Although Sunday is normally a NO TV day here, I just put on Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory to settle the kids down. They are "antsy" today, nitpicking with each other. They have built things with KidsKNex, they have coloured in & made a drawing for a sick friend, listened to music & looked at books...time for some snuggly comfort under some blankets laying around in front of the TV. A better mum would find something else for them to do I'm sure, but today I'm pooped. I listened to poor D pour out his darkest thoughts last night about how

 frustrated he is with his post-cancer body & his life. I've run around waiting on everyone this week & today I really am pooped. Praying for everyone. Think I might go & do a meditation & just sit & vent to God! He's big enough to take it!! Some weeks are tough. This was a tough one for us. But the only thing we can do is put one foot in front of the other each day. My brother-in-law is having his 60th birthday celebration up the coast right now & we are here instead of there...

Time to crank the heaters, pass the tissues, rug up & maybe do some reading!?

 

Cancelled holidays :-(

Bummer. 

D & kids really unwell with fevers & coughs. Probably swine flu which is so rampant around here they're not even testing any more. A local school had 250+ kids off one day this week!! I went to the shops yesterday to try to stock up while I could & everyone around me seemed to be hacking. My sister who works at Kempsey hospital has been handing out masks left right & center to try to stop people coughing on each other. I can't believe that people still don't cover their mouth when they cough!! As the lady who served me at the shops - you expect kids to sometimes forget but someone coughed right in her friend's face - AND SHE IS RECOVERING FROM CANCER WITH A LOW IMMUNE SYSTEM!! She didn't appologise or appear to think she'd done anything wrong. What hope do we have with people like that walking among us!!

But sadly (yes Kerrie, it's just as you thought) we won't be heading up to Queensland - again. Waaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!! I guess it could be worse. We could be up there & THEN come down with it. For now we have to rug up, stay warm & take some Panadol...

It's the hard knock life...

Went to see the SSCS production of Annie last night...good to get out to see a show. D was on baby sitting duty after spending all afternoon at the hospital visiting a friend. 

He's there tonight. I'm off to bed after helping Eric's class visit a local Fire Station, then a picnic at a local park. (Working near little ones totally exhausts me!!)

Off with a cuppa to read I think!

zzzzz...........

Happy Birthday Bonnie

My little one turned 8 last Friday. 

It is very surreal that the little baby who rested in her Dad's arms as the sun came up after her birth is now 8 years old. When people used to say "time flies" I'd roll my eyes, but it really feels like it does... especially when birthdays come around. It seems like the time is slipping through my fingers...

We spent Sat with friends in the lower blue mountains & we did lovely marbling & sketching (while the guys worked on fixing up our camping trailer outside in the cold), then yesterday Nan & Pop came for a visit & Bon was given some beautiful sketch pads & pencils so she spent the whole afternoon drawing & copying images from a Faber Castel DVD teaching kids how to cartoon...this is her picture called "Crazy Cows". She is getting into art so much. (I've been doing big pictures & posters to try to help one of the Librarians at school that I'm friends with too - it's fun!) I know that she is very much her own person, yet I see so much of myself in her. Her gentle ways, her love of music & art, her clumsiness at times, her compassion for others, & her caution at trying new things...I can't believe I have a living daughter who is so wonderful. I stare at her sometimes & get a glimpse of that baby I nursed so many years ago...

I worked 2 casual days last week & I still feel exhausted. Some aspects are like riding a bike. Some things are all so new. It's a different school since I was there...some lovely kids, some disrespectful kids, staff that need lots of love & encouragement....you'll laugh when you hear what I've taught. Food tech, Yrs 1, 3, 6, Yr 7, 8, 9, 11,  Geography, Computers, Special English, GERMAN (lol) & Music...& good old playground duty...a bit of everything. Although I haven't had to teach Yr 10 year - those boys just look so huge...& look like they're ready for a fight at any time...

Well...back to the daily chores. With so much rain I'm STILL trying to catch up on all the laundry. 

Crossing my fingers & hoping that in a week or so I'll get to visit Queensland...not holding my breath though as we always have to expect the unexpected...

Goodbye Michael...

I was teaching a casual day up at school Friday when the news came through - I thought the kids were joking when they said he died...although he hadn't looked well...

Ah, how we all loved his stuff in the 80s. Poor mixed up guy that you feel pity for...but what amazing talent!!!!!!! 

Drs appointments...

I've been battling vertigo - which isn't pleasant! Hopefully it will start to clear up with some special exercises...

D has had this weird rash on his chest...I described it to our Dr telling him that I have been telling D to come in...

SHINGLES!?? D's on his way right now to squeeze in for a visit!!!

Poor guy has been battling this hacking cough, plus trying to write reports & help others using the new computer system at school. He's going to have to take time off work now. Oh well. He can stay warm & snug at home tomorrow. It's more important that his body recovers. 

We were talking last night. People often ask how D is going after the leukaemia. In case of life or death - he's obviously alive - so in that sense he is going well & has beaten the cancer, but in the sense that the body is dealing with lots of niggly things, it's a really hard road to climb. Last week foot cramps, this week coughing more & this rash, perhaps in the future it will be something else...the GVHD is really running around his body getting up to mischief. Just when you think you can take a breath something else happens...BUT, we trudge on. Because there's no alternative! Praying that God will let some of the days ahead go a little easier for us. 

In spite of all of this - there is lots of love & laughter & Miss Bonnie turns EIGHT next week. Don't know where that time has gone!!!!!!

Joy & tears - all jumbled up together. This is life. It wasn't meant to be this way, but it's the way it is. I wouldn't swap my life with anyone though.

What Rachel Barkey knows...

Just listened to the most amazing talk by this lovely eloquent lady - Rachel Barkey. She was invited to speak at a ladies night for about 40+ people, but it turned into 600+. I sat listening in tears as she spoke about her journey with cancer, & her great love & hope in a good God. She is a wife & mother of two & is not expected to live much longer - short of a miracle?! She called her talk "Death is Not Dying: A Faith that Saves". Just about broke my heart, yet also made me puff out my chest & cheer her on...you can get more details here if you're so inclined. 

Exhausted...

I did a days casual work this week - on Wednesday. The blisters on my toes are still recovering!!!!

Some things never change, yet everything changes in a school community...

CRAZY WEEK

We've had Kindy testing, D's been away on a work conference, Eric's gotten into my make-up at 5:30AM & coated his lips in brown lipstick, I spoke at a Cancer Council morning tea, Bonnie gave herself a cracking big egg a few days before school photos (rolling eyes), & TODAY I put a deposit down on a little second hand HONDA JAZZ (not the exact one in this pic, but it looks like this). I feel very grown up trading in an old car & getting a "newer" one. Just in the nic of time - the petrol I was pouring into the other tank was going to send me broke!!!!! 

Now I'm exhausted...ready to flop into bed...zzzzzzz.